I see it then. His heart is breaking because we are leaving him out. He feels like an outsider in his own family. I caused this. This is my fault.
“I’m sorry, Nate. You have no reason to, but trust me when I say that this is for the best.”
He shakes his head. “I need a drink. Read the letter then respond. She included a new envelope so you can seal it. Keep me in the dark. I don’t fucking care anymore.”
The door shuts with a bang after he slams the letter to my chest before exiting.
My hands are shaking. My heart aches. I didn’t want this.
Still, I open the letter, reading the words I needed to hear.
H,
I know this has been hard, but we think we are making progress on our end. We followed up on your last lead and found out some stuff. I won’t write it here, but we are taking care of it. I’m worried about you, H. Every day I see you, you look even more broken. I want to pull you out, but C says we can’t yet. That it’s too dangerous at this point. He has guys watching you, but they aren’t the only ones. He says there has been a guy following you. The guy makes sure to never show his face so we don’t know who he is yet, but we will. Our guys are good and will catch him. Be careful out there and report back when you can. Please. I love you, H. Know that as soon as I can, I’m bringing you home where you belong.
Love,
W
The tears are back.Home.She still thinks her home is where I belong. She loves me. Taking a deep breath, I grab a pen from the desk in the corner and I write on the back of the note. As much as I want to keep it, I know it’s not safe for me to.
W,
Thank you for reaching out, but this is too dangerous. If I’m being watched, then we can’t communicate again. Not until this is over. Tiffany isn’t the mastermind. I’ve talked to her and I get the feeling she is as stuck as I feel. The English teacher is the one to look at. I haven’t found any more information on the product yet. I feel like such a failure. I’ve been doing this for months now and I feel like I haven’t even helped you at all. All I’ve done is dig myself deeper into this hole. Don’t worry about me, though. I can handle this. I don’t think it’s safe anymore. No, I know it isn’t safe, so please be careful and watch your back.
I love you, W.
Love,
H
After I’m done, I reread her words before sealing it into the envelope. Then I sit there, thinking about everything she said. They are making moves. I hope this ends sooner rather than later.
A knock on the door draws me from my thoughts.
“Come in,” I call out.
Nate slips back inside, closing the door behind him.
I hold out the letter, my hands still shaking.
He lets out a deep sigh, but takes the letter, shoving it in his pocket. Then he pulls me off the bed, into his arms.
“You’re shaking. How can I help?”
I look up at him. “You can’t. No one can.”
He growls, leaning down to press his forehead to mine.
“Don’t say that. I can help if you let me.”
I shake my head. “Not this time.”
He pauses a moment before leaning in to press a soft kiss to my lips. This kiss is unlike any of the others we shared. It’s intimate and full of care. It’s too much.
I pull back. “I wish we could continue to do this, Nate. It’s not fair to either of us, though. We can’t keep meeting up to fuck just to go back to hating each other the second the condom comes off.”
“Why not? You seem to like it as much as I do. Fuck being fair.”
