I nod. “Thank you, Jacob. That meant a lot.”
“I don’t know what’s going on, but use me. I’m here to help you, Hailee. No matter what.”
“You’re an amazing guy, Jacob.”
He lets me lose myself in my thoughts, turning up the music for the drive home.
The whole way back, my mind keeps running through what she said. What did she mean he hates himself?
I’m no closer to solving the mystery of the drugs, yet I can’t concentrate on it.
All I can think about is Nate.
-
Eleven
I didn’t wantto be at this party. I hate parties. Why was I complaining that I hadn’t been invited?
Oh, right. I needed to be on the in so I can find these drug dealers and go back to my real family.
Looking at my team, I wonder if I can even go back. I miss Willow, but these girls have become my friends too. Maybe not like Willow was, but the sisterhood they spoke of was real. They aren’t like my last team. They actually care about one another.
It’s more like a sibling relationship with the way we bicker, but I have never had anyone stick up for me the way they have.
Can I really abandon them when this is all over?
Shaking my thoughts off, I concentrate on the crowd around me.
Honestly, I hate people in general. So the idea of packing a shit ton of teenagers with raging hormones into one small area is unappealing to me.
Yet I’m here.
Tiffany demanded it.
“If we go to a party, everyone is expected to attend.”
Fucking expectations. If it wasn’t for what I overheard in the locker room, I might have fought a little more on it. That and this is the first step to being on the inside.
Part of me wants to pull out. Watching Nate act like the big man on campus while ignoring me hurts. Hearing the awful things he has been saying about me cuts even deeper. Add in not being able to talk to Willow and you have the recipe for heartbreak and loneliness. I want to give up.
I can’t though. I feel like I’ve gotten a glimpse into this secret. One small little thread is loose. I need to keep pulling on it until it’s unraveled. Besides, if I throw the towel in now and Nate still hates me, I will feel like my sacrifice was for nothing.
At least if we find the dealer, I can rationalize my broken heart as being for the greater good of the people I love.
That’s how I ended up at Ryan’s house. It’s Friday night and from what I understand, his parents are out of town. His house isn’t like the trailer I currently live in, yet it’s not as nice as the house I grew up in. It’s run-down and dingy, but big enough to fit all these people.
Back home, if someone threw a party, all their expensive items would be put up so they weren’t broken. I have a feeling there were never any items to put up in his home.
I continue to walk around, taking in the scenery. Couples grinding in the middle of the living room to the loud music pouring from someone’s Bluetooth speaker. With all the talking, I can’t figure out how they can even hear what’s playing.
I see a couple of the girls from the team walking around. They split off from me the moment we got here, telling me they were having a team meeting for permanent members only.
I still haven’t made the cut.
That’s okay with me, though. I am curious about what is going on behind closed doors, but I know soon enough I’ll earn that spot. I just have to be patient.
It makes me sick to think about what I’ll be required to do to get it though.
