I let out the breath I was holding, shaking my head. “I used to be a cheerleader at my old school. I missed it. With Willow being out and now that she has Chase, I thought I would join to give myself something to do.”
My stomach churns as the urge to vomit hits me hard. Lying to him makes me feel sick. I could back out. Willow would let me. Still, this feels too important. They are my family. I need to protect them if I can. If doing this means I can, I have to suck it up and put my big girl panties on. Even if it kills me and harms Nate in the process.
Pushing up the center console between us, he slides across the bench seat toward me. Grabbing my chin, he pulls my face so I’m looking into his eyes.
He’s looking for the lie. I need to sell this. I know if I don’t do something, he will see me for what I am. A phony.
So I do something that I haven’t done in a while. I think about my parents. I really think about them, letting myself open to that familiar ache in my chest whenever my mind settles on them too long. I let that agony fill my bones.
I feel the physical response almost immediately. My eyes start to water. My hands begin to shake. Then my bottom lip trembles.
His eyes track the movement, his own softening. When the first tear escapes, he wipes it away.
“We aren’t abandoning you, Hailee. You don’t need to go find new friends. I’m here. You have me.”
My heart only aches more because I see the familiar emotion in his eyes. He knows the feeling of abandonment. He can relate. He’s showing me this side of himself to comfort me.
I’m going to break him.
For a split second, I consider telling him the truth. Why didn’t I want him to know again?
Then I remember. Nate is more like his brother than he would care to admit. He considers me one of them, which means he would never willingly allow me to be in danger. He would blow my cover with the cheerleaders in a heartbeat.
I can’t allow that to happen.
So instead of giving in to that urge, I lean closer to him until my forehead is against his.
“Nate, I need a favor.”
He brushes my hair back from my face, cleaning off the fresh tears.
“What, Comet? What do you need?” he asks sincerely.
It’s stupid. I’m going to hate myself for this, but if this is my only chance, I’m going to take it.
“Take the pain away. Please?” My voice cracks as my lip wobbles.
He cups my face. “What are you asking for, Hailee? Spell it out for me.”
“Kiss me.”
The words have barely left my mouth when he descends on mine. He’s gentle at first. Pressing chaste kisses to my lips while his fingers caress my cheeks. I attempt to move closer, he growls, grabbing my hips to pull me to straddle his lap.
Then his kisses change. He swipes his tongue against my lips. When I don’t open right away, he nips my bottom lip, making me gasp. Then he controls this kiss.
There’s an urgency in his pace. An almost desperation like he needs this as much as I do.
Settling my hips more firmly on his, I groan. I can feel every inch of him pressed against his jeans through the thin material of my sleep shorts. I’m not even wearing underwear. I was planning to turn in for the night, not ride Nate’s lap.
Still, I can feel the heat rushing to my core as my hips take on a life of their own. I’m grinding against him, matching my pace with the pace his tongue sets.
“Fuck, Hailee. You’re sexy as fuck,” he murmurs between kisses.
When I grind hard, a zing of electricity flies through my body, causing me to throw my head back and moan.
Nate wastes no time diving in on my neck. He’s kissing, then biting, then licking. It’s all too much yet not enough.
“Nate. Please,” I plead.
