This time, I let the tears flow freely as I fall to my knees. This is my cousin. My brother. The man who helped mentor me throughout our youth.
“Everyone out,” he orders grimly.
I feel Lo squeeze my shoulder as he passes me. The solidarity in the movement makes my throat catch. Then Matt walks up to me and whispers in my ear, “I will take care of her. She will be okay. I won’t let her out of my sight.”
I give him a short nod before he turns to leave too.
Bash waits for the door to click shut before he starts talking. “Pull it together, Gio. What the fuck was that?”
I gulp back more tears as I listen to the disappointment in his voice. We might be close in age, but he has always been someone I look up to. Disappointing him is worse than disappointing my parents.
I turn my back to hide the shame in my gaze. My eyes land on the damage I caused. The visual of the multiple holes taken out of the drywall makes me glance down to my hands—at least what I think are my hands. My body is numb, but I cannot deny that they are covered in blood.
“Giovanni Vito Catalini, sit your dumb ass down in this chair and listen to me.”
“Just get it over with. I need you to. Please,” I plead to him.
“She still needs you, G. I can’t do what I know you’re asking. Isabella still needs you to protect her. To love her. To help her through this. Whatever this is.”
“She’s going to hate me more than she ever has before, Bash. I can’t even blame her. I hate myself.”
“G, she has never hated you. She has loved you without question since the day you met when you were fifteen. You saved her tonight. She wouldn’t be alive if you didn’t rush back over there.”
“If she had never met me, she would have never been in this position in the first place.”
His sigh is overwhelming in the silent room. “We can play the what-if game all night, but it’s pointless. She did meet you. You love her. You didn’t fail her. You did everything you could to protect her. Even now, you’re willing to give your own life because you think it’s what’s best for her. You think she deserves better than you.”
He pauses a moment before continuing.
“She might deserve better than you. Hell, Sofia sure deserves better than me, but that doesn’t matter. What she deserves and what she needs are two different things, G. She needs someone who is going to love her through this. She needs someone who will stick by her side through the nightmares and mood swings. Isabella will need you to be there to watch her back while her life implodes. The question is, are you going to grow a pair of balls and step up to the plate or are you going to let another man do it for you?”
I rub my eyes as I ponder his words. Even knowing she deserves better, I cannot picture her with another man. I don’t deserve her, but no other man does either. While she might hate me right now, Bash is right. She will need me, whether it be from a distance or by her side. I sit gingerly in the chair closest to me as I let the emotions within calm.
“You’re right.”
He takes the seat next to me and pats my shoulder. “Of course I am. I always am. Now, can you tell me what happened?”
I go over the events from the night, pausing when the emotions almost overwhelm me.
“Fuck, I’m glad you killed him. I only wish I had killed him myself.”
“What about the commission?”
“Fuck them. I know one of them is working with him, and I’m pretty sure it's that weasel Amendo. I’m going to find proof and put a .40 caliber bullet through his skull.”
The conversation tapers out as there is a knock at the door. Bash stands up and opens the door. There are some murmurs before he closes it.
“They need you with Isabella.”
I jump up and head to the door, but he puts a hand out to stop me. “This won’t happen again. Lo and Matt will keep it discreet, but cousin or not, my love for you or not, I will need to react. I know what was going through your head, but it can’t happen again.”
My eyes linger on the blood drying on his cheek. “Sorry isn’t enough of a word to express my regret.”
“I know, G. I know. Just take care of your girl, okay? Be better for her. Live for her.”
“She already is my everything. I won’t fail her again.” I speak it to him, but also to the universe.
Failing her again is not an option.
