“I didn’t want to jinx it. We have a complicated past. This could still end up just as messy as before, if not worse. I felt like talking about it might pop the bubble I’ve been living in, letting my fears ruin everything.” I let out a heavy breath I didn’t realize I was holding.
“It’s okay. I get it. Life is scary. Scratch that. Life isn’t scary. The unknown is scary. I have no idea what happened with you guys in the past, but I know it was bad. You held onto that pain for years and let it dictate your life. I met you after everything, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t see the pain you held onto. The way it shut you down and jaded your view. I know I haven’t been around much, but just from the times I have been with you over the past couple of weeks, I can see a positive change in you. You’re actually happy. You’re living your life again. The fear that it might all come crashing down is real, but are you willing to lose out on this bit of happiness you’ve found because you’re afraid that it may be taken away again?”
I feel every single word she speaks in my heart. She isn’t wrong. I have been jaded. I have been going through the motions without really living my life. I let the pain from my past debilitate me. I never truly let Giovanni go. I sat on the sidelines pretending to hate and resent him, while in my heart, I couldn’t move on from loving him. I’ve accepted the fact he’s it for me, and I’ve never been happier. I feel more carefree and lighter. Bringing him back into my life has been the scariest thing I have done in a long time, but it has been worth it. It’s brought back a piece of me that I lost five years ago.
“Oh, Iz. I didn’t mean to make you cry.” Mia pulls me out of my thoughts.
I feel the tears streaming down my face, each one making my heart feel lighter. I’ve heard of therapeutic crying but never thought it was real until this moment. Mia holds me as I break down and let all my emotions out. She’s murmuring to me, but I don’t hear the words. Instead I focus on letting all the pain and negativity from the past flow out, while opening my heart for the future.
As my tears subside, I pull back from Mia. I laugh as I see she also has a tearstained face along with a wet shoulder from where she held me.
“We’re such a mess.” I laugh as I hand her some tissues from the table before grabbing some for myself.
“This is your fault. I’m pregnant. I cannot control my emotions. Do you know that I cry at those animal commercials? Don’t even get me started on the videos of soldiers coming home to surprise their loved ones. I’m a constant puddle of tears.” She’s laughing, but I see the concern in her eyes.
“Thank you, Mia. I think I have needed that for at least five years. You’re right. We have been seeing each other again for a couple of weeks, taking it slow. Maybe it’s time to speed things up a little bit.”
“There you go, girl! Get your man.” We burst out laughing together.
“Tomorrow. For tonight, I’m going to spend some much-needed girl time with my best friend.”
“Same. Too bad Sofia isn’t here.”
“Why isn’t she here? I assume, if both our men are working, Bash is too.”
She laughs such a hard, deep laugh before picking up her phone. Within minutes, Sofia’s face pops up. “Save me. This is torture.”
I laugh. “What am I saving you from? Bash trying to put a baby in you too?”
She narrows her eyes at me. “Do not wish that juju on me. I’m not ready to be a mother. Or a babysitter. Bash left me here alone with Greer. She’s all sunshine and unicorns blowing right out her ass. I know it’s a façade. She’s pissed that Bash wouldn’t let her go out after her last stunt. She thought I would let her go since he’s gone, but I wouldn’t go against him. Now she’s acting like a child.”
“Do you really want us to come over? I can get changed real quick. Mia can pack up the food.” I glance to Mia, and she nods her head in agreement.
“No, as much as you guys being here would make it better for me, it would make it worse for you. Besides, I don’t think she likes you too much, Iz.”
I snort. “I can’t imagine why.”
Sofia looks confused. “I assumed it was because you broke her cousin’s heart once upon a time. Is there something else I don’t know?”
“There might have been a small misunderstanding at your wedding. I’m sure the whole Giovanni thing doesn’t help either.” I shrug. I really don’t care if she likes me or not.
Before she can respond, there is a commotion behind Sofia. My heart lurches.
“Greer.What the fuck are you doing? You’re going to get that poor kid killed.” She sighs then turns back to us. “Wish me luck. She has roped Rico’s apprentice into finding her alcohol. Poor kid doesn’t know what he is getting himself into. I got to go. Love you, babes.” She blows us kisses before ending the call.
“Poor Sof,” Mia says.
“Right, but you know what that means, right?”
Mia gives me a puzzled look.
“With no Sofia, we can watch all the horror movies we want.”
She chuckles. “Let’s have at it. If I wake up screaming though, I’m going to be mad at you.”
Giovanni
I miss you. It’s going to be hard to sleep without you tonight.
