“I honestly didn’t either.” I sigh. “It’s time to talk, isn’t it?” I ask him, even though I know the answer.
“It is. If we expect to move on, we need to air it all out. I refuse to let you walk away again.”
I turn to look at him, my legs lying over his. “Why didn’t you show, Giovanni? You promised. We had a plan, and I sat there feeling like a fool waiting for you.” I try to hold back the tears.
“You’re not and never were a fool, Iz.” He sighs, taking his time to put his thoughts together. “I was on my way to you when they grabbed me. They kidnapped me for my initiation. I obviously didn’t know it was going to happen then, or I would have moved our plan up. It was completely out of my hands. They grabbed me two blocks from the meetup. Once they had me there, I couldn’t leave. I couldn’t do anything until they released me. And when they did, I tried calling. You didn’t answer. When I found out you were at the hospital, I went straight there. Only to be turned away.” He wipes the tears from my face.
“You not showing changed everything. That night broke me, Giovanni. You broke my heart by not showing and then going to the hospital broke me even more. After that, I shut down. I couldn’t handle seeing you or what your family cost us.”
“What happened, Iz? Why did you go to the hospital? You’ve never told me, and even though I could use my connections to find out, I didn’t want to know what happened from anyone but you. When your mother walked out and handed me your letter, it killed me. A piece of me died right there. But I refused to leave until they released you. I wouldn’t willingly walk away from you.”
“You want to know what happened?”
“Yes,cuore mio,why were you at the hospital?”
“I was pregnant,” I whisper without making eye contact.
“What?” he asks, full of anguish.
“I didn’t know.” I sob. “I didn’t know, I swear.”
He pulls me closer, holding me tight. “Shhh, I know,cuore mio. I know you would have told me. Calm down and tell me what happened,” he demands, but softens, “but take your time.”
After a few minutes, the tears dry and I become numb. With my face buried into his chest, I finish our story. “I thought you abandoned me, left me alone to wait for you. Told me I was your number one priority, and then you didn’t show. I thought every fear I ever had was coming true. Like my dad leaving all over again but worse, you know? Because I knew what loving you was like, where I barely remember him.”
“Never, Isabella. If you take anything from tonight, just know I would never purposely leave you.”
“I know. You’ve showed that by sticking around. Always being there when I need you no matter how much I want to deny it.” I take a minute and listen to his heartbeat under my ear. The steady thump, thump, thump giving me the courage to pick back up.
“I waited for you for three hours. It was so cold, but I was numb to it. All I wanted had been you, but finally something clicked, and I knew you weren’t coming. On my way to the subway stop, I passed Aperitivo. I attempted to hide in the shadows so no one would see me. Then I heard you laugh. I stood in the shadows and watched as you laughed and smoked cigars with a bunch of men in the alley beside the bar. My heart broke in that moment. You didn’t show up because you put the family over us.La Costa Nostra, the family comes first, above all others, even blood. You always resented that, yet you toasted to it outside the bar. How devoted to the family you were. It felt like everything you had ever told me was a lie when I heard you.”
He lifts my chin to meet his eyes. “I didn’t want to make that toast. I didn’t want to be there. If I had left, they would have killed me. You were always my number one priority. That night, my only thoughts were you. To stay alive for you.”
“I know that now, but then….” I trail off. “Anyway, while on the subway, I started cramping unbearably. Truly the worst pain I had ever felt. I got off a stop early, and when I got off, I collapsed. I fainted, and when I came to, I was in the back of an ambulance and bleeding. When I arrived at the hospital, they told me there was nothing they could do and that they were so sorry for my loss… our loss.”
Gio’s openly crying in front of me and not saying anything.
“Say something, please,” I beg.
Giovanni
“I didn’t understand how you could love me as much as you did, only to turn away without another thought. How you could cut someone, who you said was vital to your being, out of your life and pretend I never existed. But I get it now, Isabella. I wasn’t there for you when you needed me most.”
The complete heartbreak I find in her eyes slices me to the core. The cold-hearted woman that she has become is nowhere to be seen. In her place is the heartbroken teenage girl who only wanted to run away with the boy she loved.
I wasn’t strong enough though. I had been a boy who still feared his father. I was weak. I didn’t deserve her then and still don’t.
“I’m so sorry,amore miaI’m so sorry.” My fists clench as I remember that night as if it were yesterday.
“Where is Isabella Dellaco?”
“I’m sorry, sir. We can only give information out to family. Are you a family member?”
“Yes, I’m her husband.”
The nurse gives me an unbelieving look. “Her mother is with her. No one mentioned a husband. Besides that, she’s only eighteen. Don’t lie to me, boy.”
“Do you know who I am? I’m Giovanni Catalini. Where is she?”
