The music starts and the doors open. I take a deep breath. It isn’t me getting married, but the day is still an emotional one for me. I watch as Greer and Matt walk down the aisle. The wedding isn’t a big one—only a couple of the men close to Bash, his mother and sisters, the people from Bello Italiano, and the bridal party. Just like the wedding I wanted to have, small and intimate.
I glance down and take in Bash standing there looking a little uneasy. For a moment, I’m lost in past dreams. I picture Giovanni standing there looking nervous waiting on me.
A tug on my arm pulls me out of my daydream. I give a tight smile as I look up at Giovanni before we start our own walk down. I don’t look around. The only person in the seats who means anything to me is Eddie, our cook. I suppose, if you twisted my arm, I would say Dante’s important as well. He’s been guarding me for months and has done well. We haven’t gotten to know each other too much, but he has proven he would protect me.
At the end of the aisle, Giovanni turns to me and kisses my cheek as Matt did to Greer. Part of me wants to shrink away while another part relishes in the warmth I feel on my skin from his kiss. The tingles that spread through me are not unfamiliar. They remind me of how Giovanni has always made me feel.
Special. Loved. Cherished. Claimed.
We split up as I go to the bride's side and he moves to stand next to Bash. I watch Lo and Mia come down the aisle while trying to get my rampant thoughts under control. I watch as they lean into each other as they walk, neither one paying attention to the crowd around them. They’re so caught up in each other that you would think that no one else is even in the room. Before splitting, they share a soft kiss on the lips before each taking their places.
Mia stands next to me, discreetly grabbing my hand and squeezing. “You okay, Iz?” she whispers.
I give her a smile. “I am.”
She doesn’t look convinced, but she doesn’t need to be. The music changes to something slower, and then Sofia’s walking down the aisle with Uncle Tony. My heart hurts knowing I won’t have anyone to walk me down the aisle when the day comes. I shake the thought from my head.
Instead, I focus on Sofia. Her gown is beautiful—a trumpet style dress that fits her figure perfectly, showing off all her gorgeous curves. The envious feeling comes back.
I am happy with my body, don’t get me wrong. I’m 5’7” with a slender frame. Honestly, most girls in America would probably kill for my body—not that they should. Even the “skinny” have issues. I sure as hell do. While I do have a tight stomach, I’m also missing important parts. I only have a B cup chest and a small ass to match. Unlike Sofia. She’s voluminous. She has at least a pair of D’s on her chest with an ass men would kill for.
I’m saved from any more self-deprecating thoughts when I catch Sofia glaring at someone. My protective side rears up, and I follow her gaze to an older lady. Mrs. Catalini. I remember her from my youth. She had always been beautiful and elegant. She still is, but you can tell time and life has taken its toll on her. I glance back to Sofia and find her eyes are back to Bash’s.
I look over to Bash and catch him smiling. He had always been dark and broody. You could feel the danger rolling off him. A predator lying in wait to catch his prey. Then he caught Sofia. He’s still dangerous, but I sometimes witness his softer side. It reminds me that he’s human like the rest of us. He’s proved to me that a made man can put someone else before the family. Bash does for Sofia, even if no one but the close few can see it.
I turn back and watch Sofia give Uncle Tony a kiss on the cheek. He whispers something into her ear, and she tears up but smiles. He takes his seat as Bash takes her hand. They stand in front of the priest. Instead of hearing his words, my mind goes back to a dream from my younger years.
Do you Giovanni Catalini take Isabella Dellaco to be your lawfully wedded wife?
My eyes tear up as I realize for the millionth time that it will never be. The love of my life, my soul mate, will never actually be mine. This was supposed to be ours. We were supposed to be married years ago. Instead, I’ve lived my life as a lonely woman, a shell of what I used to be—no, that’s not right. I’m still who I used to be. I’m just much more of a bitch. I let him break down my shallow walls; then he ruined my kingdom. Now my walls are impenetrable.
Something catches my eye from next to Bash. At first, I think it’s Lo making eyes at Mia, but as I lean a little to my right, I see him.
Giovanni.
He isn’t looking at the groom and bride. He’s looking straight at me with similar tears in his eyes. My heart catches. I’ve only ever seen him cry one other time—when we were teens and his father told him his fate. When he realized that he would need to do something drastic if he wanted to change his life.
He mouths to me.
I’m sorry.
I bite my lip so I don’t lose it, because as soon as this ceremony is over, I will need to.
Giovanni
I should say that I’ve been present this whole day. Physically I have been, but mentally, I’m in the past. When things were perfect. When my life had meaning. When I had her.
As soon as I saw her earlier, my mood soared before it dropped. She’s gorgeous. Even when she’s dressed in her plain tee and jeans, I want her. Then she showed up in this olive-colored dress. It covers all her best parts, thank God. While I ache for a glimpse of them, I’m also aware that I would murder anyone else who was blessed enough to lay eyes on them.
I don’t take my eyes off her the entire ceremony. I watch as tears fill her eyes, and I feel my own come forward. Most would think her tears are happy ones for the couple. Not me. I recognize the pain behind her eyes. I know she’s thinking about the promises we made to each other under the stars. How she once said she wanted to get married in this exact garden when I brought her here once. How she talked about our wedding like it would be the beginning of the rest of our lives.
Then I fucked it up. I had been young and dumb—torn between wanting to do everything I could do to please her and doing the same for my father. I didn’t know how to do both.
She made the decision for me when she left.
Five years.It’s been five years since I’ve been truly happy.
I feel a nudge to my side. I look back and find Matt.
