I chuckle. “I’ve never had sex with a man, Sof. It doesn’t mean I don’t have sex with myself.”
She screws up her nose as if the thought repulses her. “I didn’t need to know that about you. Okay, so you’re a freak. I get it. So why did it stop?”
“These guys yelled at us to get a room. Lo shut down. Then his eyes filled with regret. He regrets kissing me. Again. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, Sof.” Tears prickle my eyes as my insecurities rise to the front of my mind.
“Nothing. Lo has a torrid history according to Bash. I don’t know details, but I think he needs time.”
I know a little bit about his past. Back before shit hit the fan, we shared a little with each other. His parents weren’t involved in his life. He told me more than once, his stepfather referred to him as Lucifer or the devil’s spawn. He didn’t tell me much more about them, but I could tell the way they treated him had a hand in shaping him into who he is today. While I like Lo the way he is, I could do without the self-loathing thing he has going on.
I cried for him when he told me. He held me in his arms as he calmed me down. That was back when we were friends. Now we can barely be in the same room together. At least, I can’t be in a room with him without wanting to jump him.
“Possibly, but I can’t keep getting rejected, Sof. It’s bad for my self-esteem. I feel like I’m one screw away from losing my shit.”
“So, go out with Matt.”
My eyes fly to hers, and I see the mischief dancing in them.
“Seriously. Go out with Matt tomorrow. I’ll ask Bash to stay in with me. You can go out on a date with a guy who obviously has a thing for you. I think the whole doctor thing you did for him did it. Then, if things go well, you can go from there.”
“Why do I get the feeling I’m being set up?”
Her eyes soften as she comes around the desk to sit next to me. She takes my hands. “I only want you to be happy. Matt is an amazing guy. I love him to death. He’s the brother I never had. With that being said, there’s a reason Lo draws you in. I think you two have more in common than you realize. I don’t know much about your past because you don’t like to talk about it, but I think you had some dark things happen to you too. Go out with Matt, and if you like him, I’ll support you 100 percent, but if you find yourself thinking about Lo, I suggest you let Matt down easy and work harder for Lo. Relationships don’t come easy, babe. You have to work for them.”
“Yeah, but Lo is a brick wall,” I grumble.
“Bash too. I learned to climb. I think it’s about time you do too.”
∞∞∞
“Matt, you look great.”
I open the door wider as he steps inside. Matt is standing in front of me dressed in a blue button-down with his sleeves rolled up onto his forearms with a pair of black slacks. Usually, he wears the typical goon suit, but tonight he switched it up, so he looks more casual.
“Me? You look drop-dead gorgeous.”
I spent a little extra time picking out my outfit and doing my makeup tonight. I chose a lavender, skintight dress that hugs each one of my curves. It’s cut low enough so that the top of my breasts are visible without them being on full display. The hem falls right above my knees, which gives me some comfort. While I can be a sultry seductress, I usually try for a more conservative look. Any man worth having is willing to work a little harder to get the goods.
“Thank you.” I feel the blush on my cheeks. “Ready to go?”
“Yep.”
He walks me to his car, and I nod at Angelo, my new guard, who gives me a smile. Matt opens my door for me then shuts it when I’m inside. When he rounds the front of the car, I feel a ping of sadness inside.
I wish Matt could be the guy for me. I wish I could date him and be happy. He would be good to me. He would take care of me. I know that. Too bad he isn’t the man who haunts my dreams.
Once he gets in the car and starts it, I tell him our destination. He looks surprised but says nothing.
“Listen. Thank you for coming out with me tonight,” I start.
“Of course. Anytime.”
He flashes me a smile, and I think about how hard this is going to be.
“I don’t want to lead you on, Matt. I asked you out because Izzy and I made a deal. The first guy who hit on us we would ask on a date. I won’t lie, my excitement is because it’s you, but only because we are such good friends.”
He laughs. “I know, Mia. I had a crush on you at first, but my crush was because you’re beautiful and smart. What guy wouldn’t want you? Then I was able to get to know you, and I know that while you are an amazing person, we aren’t compatible. Hell, you don’t even laugh at my stupid jokes.”
He speaks the truth. I don’t laugh at his jokes. I usually turn them around on him.
