Maybe Izzy’s right. I don’t know what I’m getting myself into. I finish applying my makeup before putting on a pair of jeans and an off-the-shoulder sweatshirt. I grab my phone and take a deep breath before looking at it.
No new messages.
I don’t know why I keep thinking he will text me back. He hasn’t in the past hour, so what am I waiting for? I’m in too deep. My feelings are falling faster than I want them to.
I shake my head and steel myself against them. I can’t let myself feel this way about him. Lo might be the man of my dreams, the man I’ve always hoped for, but I’m obviously not the woman he wants.
I text Angelo.
Mia: I’m going to be ready to leave in 20.
After my texting conversation with Lo, I texted Angelo to tell him I needed a ride to Bash’s. I hated expecting them to drive me places, but I’ve been scolded enough for taking the subway to last a lifetime. Plus, Bash doesn’t live anywhere close to a station.
Angelo: K.
That’s the only response I receive back. I like Angelo well enough, but he’s always so serious. I know he needs to be because of everything that has happened recently. I just wish he could be a little warmer. It doesn’t stop me from trying though. My bubbly personality is my armor, and I love using it against these stuffy men.
I sit at the counter and pour myself a glass of orange juice. I haven’t eaten much since lunch yesterday, and the shaking in my body tells me I need some type of nutrients. Well, I had Lo’s nutrients last night, but that doesn’t count. My body warms at the thought, and I scold it. Now isn’t the time. Not after he rejected me. Again.
I ate a little when I got home, but Izzy kept me busy, wanting to know every detail of my night. I didn’t give it to her. I just told her things had heated up, but we hadn’t hit a home run. I was so giddy about my night that she couldn’t help but be infected by my smile.
If only she could see me now. I can feel the frown on my face. How can my emotions change so drastically within a couple of hours? Lo is how. He’s like a roller coaster. Now that I’m on, all I can do is hold on tight while I go through the ups and downs. I feel as if it’s two steps forward and one step back with him. Small progress, but always being told to back off after. It’s disheartening for a woman.
I think about grabbing a snack but decide against it. Sofia planned dinner, and she would be upset if I didn’t eat anything. The orange juice is helping with my shaking a bit, but it does nothing to help with my nerves. I’m still unsure what this meeting is about. While I have seen how sweet Bash can be to Sofia, he doesn’t hold the same affection for me. I cannot deny the man can be scary as fuck if he wants to.
Maybe he’s taking my bodyguard from me.
The thought makes me shiver in fear. I should be happy about it. The independent woman in me wants to rejoice, but the larger part of me knows Fillipo’s still out there. He can’t be happy about the death of his son—a death I was directly involved in.
My mind flashes back to that night.
I’m holding a man’s life in my hands. It isn’t the first time, but it has been a while for me. This time, my mom isn’t sitting across from me, directing me. My father isn’t standing over me with that look in his eyes. Nevertheless, I still feel the same as I did then. The adrenaline in my body as I feel inside the man’s wounds. As I feel for how deep the wound goes. As I….
A knock on my door stirs me from my thoughts and makes me jump. I look at the time and notice I still have five minutes before I told Angelo I would be out. I walk to the door with my heart beating in my chest. It can’t be anyone dangerous, or Angelo would have stopped them from getting to my door, but the nagging thought of what happened to my last guard stops me from answering the door right away.
Another knock comes as I come closer.
“Mia. Open up. I know you're in there.”
I let out a breath I didn’t know I had been holding.
Lo.
Part of me wonders what he’s doing here, but the other part is telling it to shut up and be grateful. He’s here, and that’s all that matters.
I open the door and find Lo standing on my stoop dressed in his normal suit. His hair is still damp, and I wonder what made him need another shower.
Probably another woman.
I wince at my own thoughts. He wouldn’t let me take care of him this morning in the shower. I tried. I wanted to, but he said it was all about me. He said bringing me pleasure brought him pleasure. Instead of reassuring me, it caused doubt within me.
Is he sleeping with other women?
Not that I have a right to know.
“Are you ready to go?” He looks amused as I stand there.
“Go?” I ask, confused as to where he thinks we need to go.
