I also hear the other part.
I don’t want one singular woman to call my own. I don’t want marriage and children.
I don’t know why that stuck out to me. I don’t want to get married either. Children are the furthest thing from my mind, but his words stung me. Hell, I didn’t even want him or, so I kept telling myself. I can’t keep going back and forth about him. I need to get out of here and just forget he exists. I did a bang-up job forgetting about him the last two weeks, but this new admission should help.
Or make it worse.
My mind whispers to me. It is still stuck on the second half of that rant.
She would be my everything. I would never so much as look at another woman because I would have everything I need right there in my arms every night.
They always say don’t romanticize gangsters or criminals. Hearing Bash say that made me see why some women would. For Christ sake, my panties basically melted during his omission. Every time I am around him, I tend to need to change those at least once.
Speaking of.
“Well I should go. We should go. It’s a long trek home and honestly, I lost my buzz.”
I stand to leave, but Bash stops me.
“I need to know more about the agent. How do you know him?”
I go to step around him, but he holds a hand out.
“I am just going to join the others. If I am going to tell this story, I would like to do so only once.”
I was going to tell my story. Even Uncle Tony doesn’t know the whole story. I had no choice now. I have nowhere else to go. He will know where to find me now. I only hope that this whole neighborhood protection thing is enough to keep me alive.
Bash grabs my hand and leads me to the love seat. He pulls me down next to him. Mia is sipping on water, as Lorenzo sits on the arm of the couch next to her and rubs her back. Giovanni is sitting across from us in an arm chair, while Izzy keeps an eye on Mia from the other end of the couch.
“Okay. So, I am going to tell this story only once so listen carefully.”
I take a couple deep breaths. Bash squeezes my hand that is still clasped in his. I look up and see that he is begging me to trust him. I don’t know why, but he seems to want to help.
Part of me is telling me that it’s because he cares about me.
The other, more logical part says that he just found the FBI in his club and he wants more information about him.
“Richard is an FBI agent from Phoenix. He was best friends with Ryan, who is my ex-boyfriend. When I left home, I didn’t exactly leave on the best of terms. I met Ryan when I was nineteen. I was dumb and thought I was in love. Here was this older guy who was into me. He treated me well and liked to buy me gifts. Stupid me didn’t realize that his gifts came with strings.” I let out a humorless laugh. “It started off with him telling me he didn’t like certain things about me. When I wore my hair down, I was just asking for other guys to look at me. The red lipstick I swore by?” I point to my lips. “That was the devils shade. Only whores who liked to suck dick wore this color.” I tell them with a shrug.
Bash squeezes my hand and I look over to see anger burning in his eyes.
“If I wore it, he would punish me by screaming at me and throwing things. Then later that night he would be all sweet and take it all back, saying he loved when I wore it. He would ask me to wear it while I… Um.. well you know.”
I turn my head away from Bash and look down into my lap. I attempt to pull my hand out of Bash’s, but he doesn’t let go. I feel the tears pricking my eyes.
“Sof, my goodness. We had no clue. I am so sorry.”
I laugh again as I meet Izzy’s eyes.
“That’s not the end. After a year, I was stuck. I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to leave, but he would tell me things about myself. I couldn’t make it without him. He paid all the bills and was the only one making money. He used to tell me no woman of his would ever have to work. I realized later that if I didn’t work I didn’t have money to leave. It wasn’t until he started hitting me that I realized that one day he would kill me if I didn’t get away.”
Bash lets go of my hand and gets up and starts to pace.
“Bash.” I whisper.
He meets my eyes and I see the pure anger in them. He is on the edge.
“Maybe I should stop.”
