There was no going back. Once I had her bent over the bed, my need for her took over. I had to show her how much I wanted her. That there was nothing I wouldn’t do to have her. I once again took her too hard, and I want to do it all over again.
I can tell she is exhausted—her face is thinner; that what happened between us back home had taken a toll on her. I’d done that to her, and even still, once I got here, I hadn’t told her what really happened.
What the hell is wrong with me? Gently I sit up, throwing my legs over the side of the bed. I run my hand down my face. I need to get my shit together. That’s what has to happen because I know I’m not going to stay off of her or away from her. I never truly could.
“Running again?” I turn back to see Cosima leaning up on one elbow watching me.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“And I don’t know what to think about that.” Cosima sits up fully in bed.
“I’m sorry.”
“Why did?—”
We both speak at the same time. “I’m sorry,” I say again. Cosima presses her lips together.
“What exactly are you sorry for? Taking my virginity or running away after?”
"I'm not sorry for taking your virginity. That was always going to be mine."
"You're a cocky asshole. You know that?"
"And you're a spoiled brat, andyouknow that."
"Whatever." She shakes her head as she starts to get up from the bed.
"Nope." I lean over, snagging her around the waist and pulling her back down to the bed. I roll, pinning her under me. "I didn't say you could get up."
"Excuse me?" She narrows those blue eyes on me.
“You took off too, sweetness. Now I’ll be having you on a short leash.”
“You did not just say that to me.” Cosima huffs.
“I did.” She keeps on glaring at me, so I kiss her. The second my mouth takes her, she melts for me.
“You’re terrible with those kisses. You know the effect they have on me.” She gasps when I finally release her mouth, her lips puffy.
“I am terrible,” I agree. “I fucked up.” That’s the truth, something I will always give to her.
“You more than fucked up.” Cosima pulls her eyes from me. I hate it. This is how she can pull away from me, and I can’t physically do anything about it. I need to make this right. If she cares about me even a tenth of what I feel for her, I know she’s got to be hurting badly.
“I need you in clothes.” I push off the mattress, coming to my feet. There is no way I can have this conversation with her when she’s naked. Cosima sits up again, pulling the sheet up, hiding her glorious tits from me.
“How do you move so quickly?” She blows her hair out of her face. “You’re too big to be that sneaky.”
I am a big guy. When people meet me in person after having only known me online, it surprises them. I might have spent a lot of time on my computer, but I also grew up with Ronan and War. You didn’t hit the gym to take fucking selfies of your abs; the abs were more a side effect.
We hit the gym to be trained. You need strength and endurance. You never know what you might come up against, and I rode with them. The three of us have always worked together.
"I'm guessing the same way you learned how to be so handy with a knife."
Cosima was never a fan of guns growing up. She called them loud and annoying but knew how to use them. It was a necessity in the Marino home.
Now, with a knife, she could be rather scary. It always made me so damn proud of her when she was learning. That was until she actually had to use it on a person, a man who wanted to hurt her. I push down the rage that tries to claw out of me. That day had been one of the worst in my life.
"Why are you mad all of a sudden? It was only a question." Cosima pulls the blanket tighter, and I fix my fucking face because it must be showing my anger.
