“I can’t do this,” I blurt out.
Ryan’s brows furrow, confusion flashing across his face. “What?”
My chest tightens, the words sitting heavy in my throat, but I manage to force them out. “I… I want to end this.”
There’s a beat of silence. It feels like the room is shrinking around me, and every second that passes only makes the air thicker. He doesn’t say anything right away, just stares at me, his eyes searching my face like he’s trying to figure out if I’m serious.
His jaw clenches, a muscle ticking in his cheek. My heart races, but it’s not because I’m nervous. It’s because I already know what comes next. I’ve been fooling myself for too long, convincing myself this could be something more.
“You were right,” I say, my voice dropping. I swallow hard, trying to keep my composure. “I can’t do the casual thing. I thought I could, but…” My words trail off, and I can’t finish the sentence.
I should’ve never let this get this far.
Ryan’s face hardens, the teasing glint in his eyes fading as he starts to pace. His footsteps are the only sound in the small room, shoes scuffing against the floor, each step loud in the silence between us.
I watch him, biting my lip. My stomach twists, a familiar ache creeping up, but I can’t take the words back now. I shouldn’thave said them, but part of me knew from the start it was inevitable. The second I let myself get too close, I knew it was all going to unravel. I just didn’t think it would happen this fast.
“You can’t do the casual thing?” he asks, shaking his head. “You’re the one who wanted a rebound.”
“I know,” I say with a nod, exhaling sharply. “I thought I could handle it,” I murmur, shaking my head. “But I was wrong. I—” I swallow, my throat dry. “I tried not to catch feelings. I really did.” I feel a lump in my throat, the words sticking there. “But I did. And I can’t keep pretending I don’t.”
Ryan stops pacing and stands still for a beat, his eyes on me. The tension in the room is thick, suffocating. It feels like the air is too heavy to breathe, and I wonder if I should’ve just kept my mouth shut. But now it’s out, and there’s no taking it back.
His gaze flickers over my face, studying me like he’s looking for something. What, I don’t know, but I don’t think he finds it. “You want to date me.”
I swallow, shaking my head. “I never said that.”
Ryan’s eyebrows pull together, and he runs a hand through his hair, messing it up even more. “You’re ending things because you can’t do casual. What else would that mean?”
I swallow the lump in my throat. “It means I don’t want to feel like this when I see you with other girls, like I’m just one of many.”
“One of many,” he repeats with a bitter laugh, his voice cold. “You seriously believe that?”
I meet his gaze, my heart pounding in my chest. “C’mon, Ryan. You’re not my boyfriend. You don’t owe me any explanations, but don’t lie to me. You were surrounded by girls out there.”
There’s a flicker in his eyes, before he steps closer, his posture stiffening. “And I know none of their fucking names,” he snaps, cutting me off. “You want to know who the only person Iwas thinking of tonight was? You. You’re the only person I think of every damn night since you spilled your drink on me at the welcome week party.”
My breath catches in my throat, and I forget how to breathe. I don’t know if it’s the way his words hit me or the intensity in his eyes, but I can’t look away. I don’t want to.
“You’re theonlyperson in my head, Isabella,” he says, his voice softening as his hand reaches up to brush a curl behind my ear. “I dream of your curls, your sweet perfume, the shape of your lips, of you with your clipboard in hand, standing on the side of the rink.”
I want to step back, to put some space between us, but my body betrays me. I stay rooted, frozen, every word he says wrapping around me like a whisper I can’t escape. I can’t breathe. My mind is spinning, and I don’t know how to stop it.
“Ryan,” I whisper, but he doesn’t stop.
He takes another step closer, and it feels like he’s everywhere, his warmth enveloping me, his presence overpowering. “Tell me you don’t want this. Tell me you don’t want me, and I’ll walk away.”
I bite my lip, every nerve in my body screaming at me to fight, but I can’t lie. I don’t want to walk away from him, but I also don’t want to keep falling for a guy who will never be mine.
“Damn it, Bels,” he mutters with a frustrated groan as he steps closer again. “You want me to be your boyfriend? Fine. I’ll be your boyfriend.”
I blink, caught off guard. “What? I—That’s not?—”
He closes the gap between us, his hand landing on my hips and pulling me closer until we’re almost flush against each other. His chest presses into mine, and I can feel his heart pounding as fast as mine. “I’m not losing you,” he says, his eyes locked on mine. “Which means I’m your fucking boyfriend.”
I shake my head, trying to clear the fog clouding my thoughts. “You can’t just… It’s not as simple as?—”
“It is,” he finishes as he cups my face, forcing my gaze to meet his. “I want this, Isabella. I want to be with you.”
