He stiffens, releasing his hold on me and rises to his knees. I watch quietly as he pulls on his pants. When he looks back at me, his jaw tightens. “It’s late,” he murmurs. “We should go to bed.”
“Chris,” I say, moving closer to him.
He shakes his head, avoiding my eyes. “Someone could walk in.”
“Chris,” I repeat, louder this time. He meets my eyes, a hint of pain flickering across his face. “Do you love me?”
He exhales heavily, his shirt crumpled in his fist at his side. “You know I do.”
I reach out, cupping his face as he often does mine. His eyes futter closed, and I lean in, pressing my lips to his. “Then no more lies,” I say. “Only honesty between us from now on.”
His eyes reopen, wariness swirling within them. “Gabi—”
“Why did you leave that night?”
Chapter 28
Prom night: Part II
Age Eighteen
I’ve fantasized about kissing Gabi countless times. I’ve imagined the taste of her, the sound of her sighs, how her lips would feel against mine.
But when she finally pressed her warm, soft lips to mine, she completely shattered every expectation I had.
It lasted only a few seconds. At first, I was so stunned that I didn’t react. But as soon as I realized what was happening, I didn’t hesitate. I grabbed her face in my hands and kissed herback, savoring the taste of her for the first time. My chest felt like it was being pried open, the feeling was so intense.
My first ever kiss, and it was with the love of my fucking life.
But it ended as quickly as it started when I realized she wasdrunk.
She had polished off half the flask I had taken from my dad’s cabinet. She was so wasted, she couldn’t even keep her eyes open properly. She didn’t know what she was doing. She was just consumed by sadness, heartbreak, and embarrassment, drowning herself in alcohol.
It meantnothingto her.
When it meanteverythingto me.
I don’t even think she knew she was kissing me when she was doing it.
It was purely just a reflex.
I love her more than I’ve ever loved anything, but I alsoknowher. I know that Gabi clings to attention and affection like someone would a security blanket. I watched her do it for years.
For years, she dated these guys who didn’t deserve her. I don’t even think she liked them all that much. She just craved being wanted, being needed.
If only she had looked up whenever she was in my arms, she would have seen that I could give her everything she ever wanted, and more.
It gutted me to climb out of her window and leave her, but I couldn’t stay there, acting like nothing happened. Because I knew, when she woke up in the morning, she would either regret it, or not even remember it happened at all.
And I couldn’t do it.
I’d gut myself if I knew it would please her. But in doing so, it would leave me dead. Letting her keep kissing me, and touching me when I knew alcohol was clouding her judgment would have destroyed me in the process.
Though it’s hard to remember that when I see my house only a few steps away.
I stop in my tracks, my jaw aching from my teeth grinding together. My stomach immediately sours at the sight, and I blow out a breath.
Fucking hate it here.
