“You’re not my father,” I assert, holding my ground. He used to terrify me, enough to make me tremble and cry with anger, unable to stand up to him. But seeing him here now... There’s nothing intimidating about him anymore. “You’re nothing,” I spit out. “I want nothing to do with you, and neither does Jane.” His nostrils flare, and I straighten my spine, staring at the man who made our lives a living hell. “She’s finally happy and free from you. Leave her alone and get the hell out.”
“Look at what the fuck she’s done to you,” he says, his lips pulled into a disgusted look. “It’s her fault you’re…”
A bitter laugh escapes me. After all these years, he hasn’t changed a bit. He’s still the same despicable person he always was. “God, you’re pathetic. You can’t even say the word.”
I spent years living in fear that he would find out I was bisexual. When my sister came out at eighteen, he lost his shit, and threw her out of the house. Thankfully she had finished highschool and was off to college. But he forbade me from speaking to her, and I hid myself away, terrified he would scorn me, hit me,hate meif he ever found out the truth about me. But the truth is, I couldn’t care less about this man’s opinion of me now. Not anymore.
“You’re acting this way because of her,” he spits out. “I saw you and your boyfriend back there. You’re not gay.”
I don’t bother correcting him about the boyfriend part. “You’re right,” I reply evenly. “I’m not gay. I’m bisexual. I’m attracted to both men and women, and being in love with a guy doesn’t change that about me, no matter how much you or anyone else wishes it did.”
Disappointed in myself for letting him affect me, I continue, my hands trembling as I clench them into fists to maintain composure. “I hated myself when I lived at home,” I admit. “You made me feel like there was something wrong with me, butyouwere the problem.” His scowl deepens, but I push on. “I’m proud of who I am,” I assert, narrowing my eyes at him. “And I couldn’t give a fuck what you think.”
“Your mother would be so disappointed,” he says, his face contorting with the familiar anger I’ve witnessed countless times.
“Don’t,” I warn sharply, feeling my pulse race. “Don’t you dare talk about Mom. You have no right after what you did.”
He scoffs. “What I did? You mean setting disciplining in my own house?”
“You made our lives a living hell!” I shout. “You hurt Mom until the day she died. And now you’re alone, miserable, and fucking pathetic.”
His eyes widen as he snarls, grabbing my shoulders roughly. “Don’t you dare talk to me that way.”
Once upon a time, this would have terrified me. But now I just laugh. He really is pathetic.
“Hey!” Chris’ voice cuts from behind me, and I feel his presence beside me, a wave of calm washing over me. “Don’t you fucking dare put your hands on her.” Chris steps between my father and me, pushing at his chest.
“This has nothing to do with you,” he asserts, advancing toward Chris. My heart races out of my chest as I swiftly step in front of Chris. I won’t let him touch Chris. I’d rather die than let anyone hurt him, especially because of me.
“Don’t even think of hurting him,” I warn. “You have no control over me,” I tell him, squaring my shoulders. “You might have when I was young, and weak and wanted your approval, but I don’t want that anymore,” I tell him. “I don’t want anything from you. I don’t want to talk to you, or see you. So get the fuck out of here, and don’t come near any of us ever again.”
I grip Chris’ arm firmly, pulling him away.
“Are you alright?” Chris asks, trailing behind me.
I stop in my tracks, turning to face him. I feel a rush of relief seeing his soft eyes, and without hesitation, I wrap my arms around his neck.
“Dance with me.”
Chapter 23
Why aren’t we together?
I’ve never been one to dance. I don’t usually do things that seek public attention, but if Gabi asks, I’ll do it. I’ll do anything for her.
Even if holding her and being so close makes the part of my brain that thinks shut down. Which is dangerous, especially since we almost crossed a line on our road trip.
“Are you okay?” I ask as she wraps her arms around my neck and gazes into my eyes. My hands instinctively move to her hips as we step to the music.
“Yeah,” she says, swallowing hard. “I just want to dance with you. Is that okay?”
“Of course.”More than okay. I notice the distant look in her eyes as I search them. “What did he want?” I ask, still seething at the thought of him thinking he could put his hands on her.
Gabi shrugs, avoiding my gaze. “Same as always. He wanted to make me feel ashamed of myself,” she admits. “I think he came to tell Jane she was making a mistake, or whatever other bullshit he wanted to spew.”
I don’t hate much, but there are two people on this earth who burn a hate within me. My father and hers. I’ve seen what her father’s opinions did to Gabi. I witnessed firsthand how they infiltrated her mind, affected her,broke her.
I almost lost her because of him.
