Nico had lent Matthew twenty thousand dollars. Then bought me a ring worth maybe a hundred bucks.
Where had the rest of that money gone?
Not to me, to bills, to our wedding, to anything for us or our future.
I had an entire life built on nothing but lies.
“I’ll pay you back for it. And the wedding.”
“Absolutely fucking not.”
“You shouldn’t have had to pay for my sham of a relationship.”
“Maybe if I hadn’t paid, you wouldn’t have gone through with it in the first place.”
I wanted to insist that wasn’t true.
But there was a possibility, despite how in love I thought I had been, that I would have been practical enough to see that a man who couldn’t buy a ring or pitch in for the wedding was not someone I could rely on to help support a growing family.
Sure, I had a good career. I was more than capable of supporting both of us. But my career depended entirely on me. What if I was sick? What if I had complications after birth? What if we had a special needs child who demanded more of my time? I needed to know I had a partner who could keep the bills paid if I was incapacitated in some way or another.
“I wouldn’t have given him the money if I knew he was being so dishonest with you.”
I believed him.
I couldn’t claim to know Nico well. But everything I knew and had seen from him so far implied he was a stand-up guy.
“I can’t believe this is my life,” I admitted, feeling oddly numb. Like my mind and body had taken on too much and were shutting down to protect me from further stress.
I brushed at more dirt on my clothes, suddenly fixated on how dirty I was.
“How about I drive you home so you can clean up?” Nico suggested.
I gave him a nod.
He grabbed his keys and we both moved toward the door, leaving my fake ring on the island.
We’d just exited on the lower level when we almost ran right into my real estate agent.
“Oh! Well, this is just fate, isn’t it?” Barbara said, beaming at the two of us. She was in her usual gray jacket and skirt. Her brassy shade of reddish-brown hair was as stiff as her shirt collar. Her blue eyes lit up at the sight of us.
“Oh, hi, Barb,” I said, feeling even more insecure about the state of me.
“I was just on my way up to check out the apartment going on the market this weekend. I think it might be perfect for you,” she told me. “And, look, you’d have a friend right in the building!” She shot Nico an almost maternal smile.
“Who’s moving out?” Nico asked.
“That’s the beauty of it. The unit right above yours! The word is the current owner nearly gutted it and redid the whole thing. I think it’s going to be just your style,” she told me.
And, damn her, she was right.
But I couldn’t move into the unit just above Nico’s place.
Things were already weirdly familiar between us.
And I’d have a hard time hearing his shower turn on and not picturing him in there, naked, maybe hard.
Or, worse yet, entertaining another woman.
