Jackson laughed. His whole demeanor was…light and he brimmed with happiness. For a minute Nick envied the guy. “Let’s get the business stuff out of the way first, then we can enjoy a long lunch and catch up.”
Nick had been right. Jackson had wanted to be his friend. They discussed Pathways and a couple of trusts Jackson wanted for his soon-to-be three kids. Nick taped the conversation. “I’ll take care of all this and send you the paperwork.”
“Do that.” Jackson grinned. “Let’s order a cocktail now.”
“You never drink at lunch.”
Jackson shrugged. “I know. But….”
“All right. I’ll have some vino.”
Their drinks came and Nick lifted his glass. “To the new baby. Who’s almost here, right?”
“Not quite. We still have a couple of months left. I can’t wait. I’d have five more if I could.”
“How does Maisy feel about that?”
“I wouldn’t be surprised if there was still one more to come after this, but the decision is hers. She’s most affected professionally by it.”
“Yeah, I understand that.”
Jackson studied his face. “You look tired, Nick. Not sleeping well?”
“Not last night.” He heard the strain in his own voice.
Jackson leaned forward. “Want to tell me why?”
Suddenly, he did want that. “I dreamed about Scotty.”
“Your son.” Jackson put his hand on Nick’s forearm. “You never talk about him.”
He cleared his throat. “It hurts too much. But the dream…it hurt more.”
“Did you relive the accident?”
“Worse. I dreamed he was still alive. And instead of turning my back on the sandbox to take a call, I sat right down in it and built sandcastles with…” He couldn’t get any more words out.
“Oh, Nick. How horrific.”
“I haven’t dreamed about him in a year, easy.”
“Do you want to talk about the accident?”
“You probably know the gist. Audrey nagged me to take him to the park, I was distracted, then a big client called and I turned my back to talk to him. Scotty went up and down the slide by himself…went too fast…hit a post. He died on impact.”
“I’m so sorry. You must carry that burden deep inside you.”
“Usually, it’sdeepinside. It came to the surface last night, hence my mood. I’m not sure why…” The latter was untrue. Nick knew exactly why. He’d opened himself to Noreen at the deepest level and the floodgates never closed.
“Did you ever talk with a professional about this?”
“I did. Logically, I knew I needed help to work through what happened to me, but I never drilled down to the guilt I felt. Feel. I finally quit seeing him.”
“Maybe you should go back. Or to someone else. And tackle that.”
“You think?” He hated the vulnerability in that question but he couldn’t help it.
“Yeah. I don’t know if we ever get over the horrible things that happened to us, but a counselor can frame it for you. Help you move on.”
