Or maybe he just wants to have a close-up gawp at the famous Tadhg Hennessy.
‘Lovely to meet you!’I say.‘This is Tadhg.Tadhg, this is Dave.’
Tadhg’s left arm is still casually, affectionately slung over my shoulder.I take his left hand in my own and his thumb gently strokes the calluses on my fingertips.It isverydistracting.In a good way.I can see Dave’s gaze focus on our hands in confusion.
‘Hi,’ says Tadhg.
‘Tadhg and I have been working together,’ I say.
‘Well,’ says Tadhg, dropping a tender little kiss on my cheek and pulling me closer to him, ‘notjustworking.’
Liz’s eyes are wide as saucers, and Dave looks frankly stunned.
I turn and smile up at Tadhg with real affection.His eyes are sparkling.He looks back to Dave.‘Though of course, as you probably know, Lol’s basically a musical genius, so the work is going pretty well too.’
I let out a perfectly genuine laugh.‘Is it now?’
Tadhg bumps the end of my nose with his and despite, or maybe because of, the ridiculous cheesiness of the gesture, I feel myself beam back at him.
‘You know it is,’ he says.
I turn back to Dave and his fiancée and take in their dazed expressions.I don’t have to force my smile now.‘Well, it was good to see you.Oh, and congratulations!’
‘Um, thanks,’ says Dave.‘I suppose we’d better go.’
‘Nice to meet you,’ mutters Liz.I feel a bit bad for her – she hasn’t done anything wrong, and she’s been put in a weird situation.
But I can’t feel that bad.I’m not a saint.
‘Bye!’says Tadhg.
I lean against him as Dave and Liz turn to go.Before they disappear from our view, Dave looks back for a second as if to confirm that Tadhg’s arm really is around me, and that we really are holding hands.I give him a little wave with my free hand.
‘Was that okay?’says Tadhg when they’re totally out of sight.
‘That wasperfect,’ I say.‘Thanks.’
‘My pleasure,’ says Tadhg, and that’s when I realise our fingers are still entwined.Even though it would be worryingly easy to imagine it meaning something, I gently extract my hand from his and slip out from under his arm.Then he says, ‘Areyouokay?’
‘Yeah, I’m fine.’I sigh and lean back in my seat.‘It’s just … this is the first time I’ve seen him since we broke up.’
‘Ah,’ says Tadhg.‘And you haven’t been in contact since?’
‘Nope,’ I say.‘Not until last week when he rang me and told me Liz was pregnant.’
‘Last Friday when you said you’d got some weird news,’ he says, ‘was that what you meant?’
I nod.‘Yeah.It was … it was a shock.I mean, I’m glad we’re not together anymore.I didn’t care when he told me they were engaged.But her being pregnant … it brought up a lot of stuff.’I sigh.‘What Dave said when he left me made me— It made me feel bad about myself.’
Why did I admit that?It must be the shock of seeing Dave and his new woman.That, and the more than half a bottle of wine I’ve just drunk.I’ve always wanted Tadhg to think I’m confident and that I don’t give a shit what anyone else thinks of me.Even though that isn’t even vaguely true.I could never, ever bear the idea of him feeling sorry for me.
But fuck it, maybe it’s time we were more honest with each other.
‘Well,’ says Tadhg, ‘then he’s an arsehole.’
I laugh despite myself.‘No arguments there.’
‘I don’t know what he said to you,’ says Tadhg, ‘but if it made you feel bad about yourself, it was bollocks.’
