‘It was really, really good to see him,’ says Katie.‘It was like old times.Except with better food and booze.And we’re going to bed at a reasonable hour.Well, reasonable-ish.’She yawns.
‘You go up to bed,’ says Jeanne.‘Laura and I will finish this.’
Katie yawns again.‘If you insist.Night, Lol.We will fully debrief tomorrow.’She kisses Jeanne on the cheek and leaves.
‘So … what did you think?’I ask Jeanne.I put some cutlery in the dishwasher and pick up a salad bowl.
‘He’s verysympa,’ says Jeanne, and I wish, not for the first time, we had a word likesympain English.It means nice, friendly, attractive, sympathetic, all of the above and more.
Then she says, ‘And of course, he’s in love with you.’
The bowl almost falls from my hands.‘What?’
‘Give that to me,’ says Jeanne, taking the bowl and putting it in the dishwasher.‘He loves you.’
‘What … where is this coming from?Did he—’ I swallow.‘Did he say anything to you?’
‘No,’ says Jeanne.‘But the way he talked to you, smiled at you, the way he looked at you, it wasn’t like the way he was with me and even Katie.He was so … happy you were there.’
I let out a sigh.So that’s all she meant.Ridiculous to get my hopes up, even for a second.‘Jeanne, you didn’t see him in college.He was always like that with me.He treats me exactly the same way now as he did then.Seriously, it doesn’t mean anything.’
‘It looks like it means something,’ says Jeanne.
‘Well, yeah,’ I said.‘That’s why I thought he might like me back then.But believe me, I was wrong.’
As I go upstairs, I remind myself there’s no real reason to think Tadhg’s feelings for me have changed since 2003.But I break my no-phone-in-the-bedroom rule and take mine upstairs, just in case Tadhg takes me at my word and messages me to say he’s got home.I’m just getting into bed when my phone pings and there it is.
Tadhg: As promised: proof of life.I survived my trek through the mean streets of Marino!Thanks for a really good night.
I’m still staring at it when my phone pings again.Jeanne has sent me a photo.She must have taken it earlier this evening from the doorway of the sitting room.It shows me sitting on one end of the sofa, doubled over laughing.Tadhg is sitting at the other end, leaning forward, elbows on knees, looking at me with such affection that it takes my breath away just for a second, knowing he looked at me like that when I wasn’t looking at him.
And despite everything, despite the fact that I learned a long time ago that I definitely can’t trust my instincts or my hope when it comes to Tadhg, I fall asleep hoping that Jeanne is right.
Then I wake up and see the texts.
Chapter Twenty-Four
2019
The first text arrives at around seven o’clock in the morning, but even though my phone is in my room it’s on silent so it doesn’t wake me.The second, the third and the fourth all arrive in quick succession around half-past eight, and the combined vibrating of my phone on the chest of drawers makes enough noise to rouse me.
The first is from Aisling.
Aisling: Laura I’m so, so sorry.I shouldn’t have said anything to Kev.He didn’t realise what he was doing but he’s a fucking idiot.He feels terrible.That’s no excuse I know.Please please ring me when you get this.
My stomach lurches.What the hell is this about?And why have so many people been texting me first thing on a Sunday?I feel shaky and sick as I click on the next message.It’s from Aoife, my old work pal.
Aoife: I’m so sorry, Laura, you have to believe me, I had no idea anything I said was going to appear anywhere.The woman said she worked for Tadhg Hennessy.I’m so so sorry, please ring me.I’m sorry.
The other two messages are from unknown numbers.I feel light-headed.What are Aoife and Aisling apologising for?And what has Tadhg got to do with it?I’m about to click on the next message to see if it can tell me any more when there’s a gentle knock on the door.
‘Lol?’It’s Katie.‘Are you awake?’
‘Come in,’ I say.My mouth is dry.
Katie’s expression is grave when she opens the door.She’s holding her phone.‘So first of all, your family are fine, no one’s sick, no one’s had an accident or anything, but …’
‘But what?’I say.‘What’s going on?I’ve just got these weird texts and—’
