I can’t do winter without you
And though my heart is worn
There’s still a home
There for you
And as an icy cold
Grips my soul
My heart is true
And in a far off state
I’ll always wait
For a sign
You’ll write a melody
That’s just for me
I’ll know it’s mine
I hurt you, love, but I wish you knew
That I was in awe of you
You were my cosmology
My north star, my moon and sea
And I can’t do
Winter without you
I can’t do winter without you
Chapter Thirty-Five
August 2019
‘How are you feeling?’he says.
‘Um, mostly excited,’ I say.‘And a bit nervous.’
‘Don’t be nervous.You’ll be brilliant,’ he says.We’re standing at the side of the main stage at Moveable Feast, ready to go on and play the headline slot on Sunday night in front of a massive field of very excited festivalgoers.‘We’ll be brilliant.’
A tech guy appears and says, ‘Right, everyone, you’re on.’
Sam strolls up and winks at me.‘Good luck!Not that you’ll need it.’
He walks past me and on to the stage followed by Tony, the bass player.As soon as they step out the crowd goes wild.And suddenly I think,Fuck, I can’t do this.I can’t go out and play in front of literally thousands of people.It’d be a lot to go out and play in front of fifty people.But this is the population of a small town.I can feel panic rising.My hands start to shake.
‘Oh shit,’ I say.
But Tadhg takes my hand and gives it a comforting squeeze, and when I look up at his face, the face I’ve woken up next toalmost every morning for the past six months, I know he has total faith in me.And it reminds me that, deep down, I have total faith in myself.
