Prologue
2017
This is what I want.
Not right now, obviously, I think, as I look around the function room of the hotel where my mother’s retirement party is in full swing.But eventually.Some day.I want to be able to look back at my life with this sort of happiness.I can see myself in thirty years, laughing with my future husband and children and my friends and family, popping open a bottle of champagne, celebrating a career I loved and a life well lived, looking forward to future adventures.It’s the best sort of dream – lovely, yet achievable.
Although hopefully my celebrations will take place somewhere a bit more glamorous than a hotel in the north Dublin suburb of Drumcondra, where my fiancé (it still feels so weird to call him that) Dave is currently singing my praises to my extended family.
‘You know Laura used to be in a band?’he says proudly.
‘Is that true, Laura?’My aunt Mary can’t hide her surprise as she turns to me.
‘Oh, it’s true,’ I say.‘But it was a long time ago.In college.’
‘I’m sure I mentioned it at the time, Mary,’ says my mam.
I roll my eyes and smile at Dave, who winks back at me.
‘And you didn’t keep it up?’says my uncle Gerry.‘The music?’
‘Oh no.’I take a sip of wine.‘The band split up when we left college.’
‘Before my time,’ says Dave in mock sadness.He notices my mother’s wine glass is empty and refills it.
‘Thank you, David,’ says Mam fondly.She turns to me.‘I always thought you’d find another band, Laurie.You were so devoted to your music.’
Well, she’s changed her tune from the days of ‘Shouldn’t you be studying for your finals, Laura?’. But I’m not going to mention that now.
No, I am.‘In fairness, Mam, at the time you were delighted I was more focused on my first proper job than faffing around on the guitar.’
‘Speaking of proper jobs,’ says my dad, clearly keen not to revive those old arguments, ‘Laura’s ad agency just got bought by Zenith, the big consultancy company!She’s going to get a promotion.’
‘Visions isn’tmyagency!’I protest.‘I just work there.And I mightnotget a promotion.’
My mother ignores this.‘You know that funny TV ad about the ethical pensions?’she says.‘The animated one?’
The aunts and uncles all know it.It’s on all the time.Not exactly the sort of fame you dream of, perhaps, but my friend Aoife and I did win an award for it.
‘Well, Laura wrote that!’says Mam.Everyone is suitably impressed.
‘You’re doing very well for yourself, Laura,’ says an aunt.
‘Ah, thanks, I’m doing all right,’ I say.‘Now, shouldn’t the food have been brought out already—?’
‘But you never thought of doing the music professionally?’says Gerry.
I shake my head.‘Oh God, no.’
This is a lie, of course.I thought about it a lot, once upon a time.
Dave laughs at the very idea.‘Being in a college band is like playing five-a-side football, Gerry,’ he says.‘You do it for fun, but you know you’re never going to play for Real Madrid.’
I feel myself bristle at this, just a tiny bit.Which is stupid, because he’s right, I know he’s right.But …
Then an unexpected voice behind me says, ‘Laura’s band was really good,David.’
‘Oh yeah, I’m sure they were!’says Dave hastily.‘I didn’t mean—’
