He wanted to tell her she had no business thinking about what the Barbaranis did or didn’t see. But Ariana’s supply of saliva was currently in emergency rations, and he needed her to tell him what she meant by ...
‘Punishment foryou? An all-expenses paid trip to Italy? Granted, the company’s not ideal for your tastes, but is being exposed to a Barbarani for more than the recommended radiation time really punishment?’
‘I don’t get along with my aunt.’ Ariana’s voice was sharp.
Jett nodded, and if this were a normal conversation, he would have interjected with something relatable to show her he ‘got it’. But he figured Ariana’s version of ‘not getting along’ with a family member was different to his.
‘We’re almost there,’ she said, turning away to face the encroaching island.
Jett was left to unfortunately catch the next words out of Roman’s mouth.
‘Isola San Giulio is also considered one of the mostromanticlocations in Italia.’ The guide made absolutely no attempt to pretend he was addressing anyone except Nella.
‘What’s so romantic about living in silence?’ Nella quipped.
‘Ah, signora, silence is when the heart speaks the loudest. True connection, true trust, true love is when we can be completely at peace, silent, not having to fill gaps with noise or activity – withoutperforming.To simplybewith another, that is the truest form ofamore.’
Jett made the mistake of meeting her gaze, in challenge at first, but as her tawny eyes held his, he couldn’t help all the memories of silent car trips racing through his mind, Nella’s vanilla scent clinging to the leather, her soft breathing, the rhythm of the car, the ease that pulsed between them. That was peace. A stasis of sorts. A coming home – or at least, the closest Jett could ever conceive to the feeling of one. It was a feeling that wasn’t for him. A feeling he couldn’t waste time chasing.
So Jett did what any self-respecting man did when an unwanted feeling snapped its teeth, ready to tear at him. He made a mediocre joke. ‘Guess I must have been in love with my dentist then.’
‘Why? Was he a car?’ Nella said.
Daisy laughed, Ariana groaned, holding a shaking hand to her mouth, and Nella, who’d been looking at Jett like he was a sea slug that had somehow made his way onto the boat, suddenly paled. Like she’d realised what she’d just said – what memory it dredged up between them, like a body from the depths of the lake.
The organ’s deep, weeping chords as the pallbearers trudged back down the aisle. Vittoria’s cigarette smoke choking his lungs. Nella’s mascara stains on his shirt, he could still feel the places on his skin where she’d clawed at him to get back to the microphone.
‘Why are you still here? He’s dead! Just leave, Jett! You don’t owe anyone anything anymore. You don’t owe us anything, so just go!’
‘You’re grieving Nella. You loved him, I know you did ... even ...’
‘Love? What the fuck do you know about love? I’ve never heard you say you loved anything except your fucking cars. Don’t lecture me on love!’
‘Nella ...’
‘Just leave! Just fucking leave like everyone else. Leave me alone. I never want to see your disgusting face again.’
‘Jett ... I ...’ Nella’s real voice replaced her angry ghost.
He cleared his throat. ‘A Lamborghini.’
‘What?’
‘My dentist,’ Jett said. ‘He was a Lamborghini.’
25
Nella
‘We’ve only been on a few dates.’
‘Huh?’
Daisy gripped Nella’s arm, concern twisting her delicate features. ‘Me and Jett. That’s why you’re annoyed with him, isn’t it? Because you think he’s taking advantage of me? Nel, he’s actually so kind and sweet and ... we’re not exclusive or anything, we’ve barely done anything ... I’m starting to think maybe he doesn’t even ...’
‘We have to be silent now, Daisy.’ Nella pointed to the arched doorway at the top of the stone steps.
Daisy mimed zipping her lips, her cheeks turning the same pink as her hair. Despite everything, Nella couldn’t help but stare up at the enormous walls at the entrance to the Walk of Silence. The ferns and greenery creeping over the top, the Romanesque feel of the whole thing, the cobblestone streets and the arched windows made her feel like she’d fallen through time or into a medieval painting.
