Something painful stabs me in the gut. Did I just fuck up again? God, I’m not even surprised at this point. Of course my jealous attempt to keep Dax away from her was impulsive. I should have?—
“Tripp.”
“Yeah?” I answer while fighting a losing battle to slow my breathing.
“Are you berating yourself again?”
“I’m—yeah.”
She steps toward me, pulls the brim of my hat down an inch, and shakes her head. “You’re very handsome.”
My lips curve into a smile while I stare down at her full lips.
“I wasn’t even going to finish that dance,” she adds. “Now be a good boy, go get me some food, and stop wishing you hadn’t stepped in like an envious wild beast. It was hot.”
“You’re kidding me. I don’t believe that’s his real name.” Mesa is bent over the table with a napkin over her mouth, trying to control her amused giggles.
My arm is on the back of her chair, and I lean back in mine with a grin and one boot crossed over to rest on my knee. “Swear. It fits him, too. Very sluggish. He’s the only other horse I’ll let you ride besides mine.”
“Bob From Accounting,” she repeats, coming down from the fit of laughter. “Where in the world did Heston come up with that name?”
I suck air in through my teeth and widen my eyes. “He didn’t. That’d be Hattie Jo.”
“Oh,” she whispers. “Well, it’s my second favorite right behind Regal. Do the other two horses have names?”
“Gage rides Lawsuit,” I say with a nod. “She’s a real witch. Warren’s got Shoog, and I swear she sneaks out of her stall to eat an entire bag of feed every night.”
Mesa pushes away her half-eaten plate and sinks into her seat with a smile. Her back lands right on my hand, and I don’t resist lifting my thumb to trace a line on her upper arm.
“I’ll stick with my girl Regal if Bob is ever out of commission.” She fiddles with the fabric of her dress in her lap. “I’m getting ahead of myself. But . . . we’ll go for more rides, won’t we?”
I put both feet on the floor and sit up straight. I have so much I want to say to her, with no idea where to start.
“Let’s go on one right now.”
Her face lights up with a smile. “In this dress I have on? That’d be something.”
“I can saddle the horses up pretty quick, and we’ll be chasing moonlight before the cake’s even cut.” I move to stand, but she grabs my arm and pulls me back down.
“You’re crazy,” she laughs. “I missed having fun with you.”
Her face falls, and I fully turn my body toward her. I’m vaguely aware of Gage and Blythe stepping to the center of the room for their first dance, but I couldn’t care less at the moment. My right hand grabs the back of her chair while my left hooks under her seat. I twist until the chair is facing my direction, then scoot her closer.
I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to the way she’s looking at me now. The same way she’s looked at me for some time—like I can’t hide from her the way I hide from myself. Like she sees me,knowsme, and there’s no escaping it.
She has no idea how sitting with her like this, just being close to her and hearing her laugh again, has made me feel. My world seems to revolve around just being near her, and my shoulders sink as I’m reminded why I wasn’t able to do just that for the past week.
It’s repulsive behavior to test her like I did the night of the accident, but honest to god, I didn’t even realize what I was doing until she was gone. I’d unintentionally revealed the worst in me just to see if she’d flinch. I wanted more than anything to know if wholly understanding me and not wanting me anymore were two inseparable truths.
“I have to admit something I’m not proud of, Mace.”
She senses the seriousness in my voice now and glides her hand softly over mine. Even after essentially separating for a week, she’s trying to ease the pressure pulsing beneath my skin and gifting me with the opportunity to talk to her.
I’ll spend the rest of my days trying to deserve that sort of selfless treatment from her. Even then, I’ll likely die an undeserving man when it comes to being loved by Mesa Riley.
Groveling is new for me, but as we sit here together, every fiber of my being is telling me to lay it all out on the line. I wait for her to nod, albeit sadly, before continuing.
“Last week,” I start, “I behaved like a complete jackass. All you were trying to do was be there for me. I didn’t realize that until it was too late. It was stupid, unwrapping my worst side like that and shoving it in your face for you to see. Tomakeyou see. That’s not fair, and I shouldn’t have acted that way.”
