While rolling through the memories, my eyes land on the laptop and piles of paper on the coffee table. The work we’ve put in on the app update was a monster to tackle, but we’ve stayed on schedule and will have a finished product soon. I smile, realizing I turned my little garden obsession into something good in this world.
“I’m glad you came for a visit when you did. We miss you, sunshine.”
“Me too. Life here has been . . . amazing in some ways. Overwhelming in others. Funny how I left the city to get away for the same reason.”
The wind howls, making the mature tree on the side of the cottage rap its branches against the window. Rain falls heavily on the roof now too, and I pull at the front of my sweater to bring it closer to my chin.
“Yes, I know,” she says with a soft laugh. “Feeling everything so deeply will make that true wherever you go. Stick it out. You’re where you belong.”
She’s right. I do belong here, and I’d never dream of arguing otherwise. Even as a wild, young girl with thick, red braids andgrass-stained knees, I knew my soul was embedded in this place. I never truly understood the reason behind it, but I felt it just the same. Still do.
“I will. You don’t have to worry about that. Just my spontaneous visits when I’m about to crash out,” I joke. After taking a cleansing breath, I lean into the honesty that always feels so easy in conversations with my mom. “I settled here formyself, and I’m going to stay for the same reason. Drifting around and setting goals based on who’s hurt me wasn’t a path I wanted to stay on.”
I can’t see her, but I know she’s beaming. “God, I love it when you remember who the fuck you are.”
My voice switches to mimic Nana’s sassy cadence. “You come from a long line of powerful women, Mesa Kate Riley. Never break the pattern.”
Mom cracks up with a nostalgic sigh. “And we never forgot it, did we? My grandma was the same way—a cussing, hard-nosed lady till the day she took her last breath. It’s in you too, whether you like it or not.”
Flashes of their passed-on genes have certainly shown up in me recently. I’d do well to harness it more often. My soft side remains a mystery.
“I guess I got some of the weakness from the other side,” I point out quietly.
“That old vermin didn’t give you a thing. Well, maybe the gap between your front teeth. It was so dang cute, and I was sad when you grew into it and it went away as you got older.”
“Abandonment and buck teeth,” I say, rolling my eyes. “Killer combo.”
The entire cottage shakes under the boom of thunder as if I summoned it. Mom’s been open about my dad from day one and never shies away from the conversations we’ve had about himnot sticking around. It’s me who gets uncomfortable if things shift to the topic.
“He was a complete mess.” Rather than sounding shaky in her admission, her words brim with polarizing clarity. “But he gave me unbreakable survival instincts. Like I always say—men have nothing on those of us who link arms with the women in our family and forge on.”
That very notion is what steered my instincts to be with her and Nana on her birthday today. It’s always stuck with me, but I don’t live and die by the concept of assuming all men will crush you if you give them the chance.
Not since meeting someone who challenges that logic.
“I’m not pressuring you to go all out with a graphic t-shirt that saysmen be damnedin bold letters,” she adds, sensing my conflicted silence. “I’m just saying that your dad was one of many rogue offenders in this world who chose to leave their children. Undeserving men like him might keep doing their best to drag you down. Leaning on the strong women in your family is the reliable foundation that will break your fall.”
“Mmm.” I scrunch my nose and shake my head like she’s preaching at a pulpit. “Should I raise my fist and harass male politicians in their comment sections for the rest of the night now?”
“If the storm keeps you up, then it’d be a good use of your time,” she says with an amused laugh. “Hanging out with your mom on the phone while you prepare to get blown away is a good option, too.”
I smile. “Thebestoption.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to challenge our usually skeptical take on the male species as a whole and talk to her about Tripp. We broached the subject a few times this morning while sitting on the front porch in rocking chairs at her house. My inclination to remain casual about it was intense, though.
She’d be supportive. After meeting him at the game almost three months ago, she’s never had anything but praise for the guy. Not surprising, considering how innately likable and personable he is.
Still, I skirted around how strong my feelings for him were while giving her and Nana surface-level updates. There’s a figurative rope attached to my body, keeping me pulled back in the cautious safe zone.
“I’m not going to go to bed if there’s anything else on your mind tonight, sunshine.”
My lips part on a teetering confession of woes, but the phone beeps against my ear. I lift the screen away to see a caller ID I don’t recognize—city zip code. At this time of night, it’s either the weather updates I stupidly subscribed to telling me what I already know is happening in my area or something time sensitive.
Having not heard back from Tripp, my heart jumps.
“That’s okay, Mom. We can dive into that another night.”
“Okay,” she answers softly. “Get some sleep and catch all those dreams in your head.”
