“I wasn’t looking at him likethat,” I defend.
“Okay.” Savannah nods sarcastically. “And he wasn’t looking at your butt when we were walking from the car to the ticket window, either.”
I roll my eyes and take a drink from my water bottle. I must have missed the first out, but with our team on defense in the top of the ninth, a double play ends the game. The announcer thanks the visiting team, as well as the fans for attending, but it sounds muffled compared to the loud thoughts in my head.
Blythe tilts her head with a sly grin. “You’re totally thinking about it, aren’t you? You guys would be so cute together. I can’t evenstandit.”
“We barely know each other, and I am firmly against any and all romantic relationships right now. Trust me.”
“Okay,” she concedes, “but you don’t have to know each other to trade orgasms.”
I narrow my eyes at the excitement in her voice. Savannah’s expression is equally interested, and she waits for my response with raised eyebrows and an eager smile. They’re not against the idea, apparently.
If they only knew that exact suggestion from Blythe was what kept me awake half of last night. It’s unbelievably tempting. Even after our friendship agreement on the way here, he’s a metaphorical carrot, dangling in front of me while I bitch and moan over my stress level.
I turn my face to stare down at my shoes. My thumb twists the ring on the opposite hand’s middle finger. I turned him down because I can’t help but embarrass myself when it comes to diving headfirst into the arms of men who leave me with a broken heart. I thought that’d be the end of it, and yet, he didn’t magically become any less drool-worthy to look at like I prayed he would.
“Fine. Maybe I was looking at him like that, but can you even blame me? I mean, the man is hotter than hell and looks like he invented fucking,” I blurt out while holding my hand out in his direction. Tripp nears the bleachers less than a football field away from us, and I lower my voice. “Even worse, heknowsit. It’s safer just to be friends with him. There are more important things than getting your cheeks clapped.”
Blythe and Savannah look at each other and nod earnestly at first. After a beat of silence, all three of us burst into a fit of giggles.
“Don’t be so middle-aged-woman-with-a-glass-of-red about this,” Savannah says between lingering laughs. “And don’t make me bring up our little conversation from the other day, either. You were so wound tight with stress, I thought your head was going to cave in.”
“Oh, this is my wheelhouse,” Blythe jumps in. I sigh, and my forehead hits my bent knees, but I still smile at their attempts to fix my predicament. “So, you need some release. Forget about Tripp if you don’t want to make the friend thing with him weird. If we went out looking for a suitable alternative, I guarantee the guys at the bar in town would be swarming around you like fruit flies over a bowl of sugar water.”
I laugh so hard, I have to lean back and put a hand over my chest.
Maybe I’m looking at this all wrong. It’s not outrageous to wonder if a fling is actually the answer, and not something to avoid. I’ve given my all in past serious relationships, just to be let down time and time again. Maybe I’m due for a bit of fun and trying something purely physical.
Not with someone I just became friends with. But maybe with someone else. Someone I’d never see again.
Then, I remember that I’ve never been able to fully enjoy sex like most girls. It’s all fun and games until he finishes and I don’t—every damn time. I’m convinced that I’ve been condemned to a life of self-induced pleasure because I damn sure haven’t beengetting thereat the hands of a man.
Sometimes not even at myownhands.
It sucks, but I hear it’s actually common. I’m used to it now, and if sex is never going to knock my socks off like it does for most girls, then so be it.
“It’s not a big deal, girls. I have a lot of other things going on, and sex isn’t really a priority right now. I’m just ovulating or something. It’ll pass.”
Savannah bends to pick up her purse with a laugh. “Honestly? That’s actually a valid explanation.”
“And anyway,” I continue with a sigh while dropping my feet to the ground from the back of the seat in front of me, “this discussion is pointless because I can’t evenhaveorgasms. Trust me. I’ve tried.”
I sense him before his hands land on the back of my seat, practically caging me in. His body blocks the sun at his back and covers me in his shadow. I look down at his grip on the back of my chair on either side of my shoulders.
When my face finally tips up, there’s a gold chain hanging above me, and he’s looking down at me with one cocked eyebrow. I offer a tight, innocent smile.
Pretend you didn’t hear that, I silently beg.
Blythe rises to her feet and gathers her things while Tripp and I hold our staring contest. Savannah grabs her hand and shuffles to get around me.
“We’re going to the bathroom before we leave,” Blythe calls over her shoulder.
I want to look away. It’s awkward not to. But I can’t.
His hazel eyes hold me hostage as he periodically chews the gum in his mouth. He bends further so that his lowered voice doesn’t carry to anyone’s ears but mine.
“I can help with that, you know?”
