“Yeah, I checked the fridge already. No thanks!” Blythe calls over her shoulder.
Heston is lying on the couch but pops his head up slightly. “What? I did good.”
“Beer is not a side dish, dude,” Tripp says without looking up from his phone.
Gage laughs and gives a wave. “See y’all later.”
The front door closes behind them and Warren resumes rubbing my shoulders.
“I got something for you,” he says in a low voice.
I look up at him again and arch an eyebrow. “What is it?”
“Just something for what I’ve been thinking about for a while. I'll get it.”
While Warren strides down the hallway, I shove my notebook, pen, and laptop back into my bag.
“I’m headed out, don’t wait up,” Tripp says as moves toward the door to pull his boots on.
Heston shakes his head but gets up too. On his way to his room for the night, he stops by the table. I look up at him wondering if he needs something.
“Doin’ good?” he asks. One hand is in the pocket of his jeans and the other rests on the back of a chair at the table.
“Yeah,” I smile. “I’m doing good. Thanks, Hes.”
Without another word, he nods and disappears down the hallway.
We’ve never had an in-depth conversation before, but I think I have more in common with Heston than anyone else here. There’s pain behind his eyes. He’s steady and loyal, though. And I hope he fights off whatever demons I suspect he has one day.
I start to get up from my seat to grab some water to take to bed, but Warren slides in behind me and I sit back down. He’s holding what looks like a small stack of paper and envelopes.
“If you don’t want to do this, you don’t have to,” he explains. “It’s just an idea.”
I laugh softly at the apprehension on his face and reach for the papers in his hand. “What are you talking about?”
“You said the other day that you weren’t ready to talk to your family yet.”
I tilt my head and nod, remembering the conversation about my family after everything had happened with Emma. I have so much to say to them, but keeping my distance has been the best decision that I’ve ever made. I’ve grown, opened up, matured, and been happier than I’ve ever been without being around them.
“Well, I don’t think it’d be good if you kept all those feelings bottled up any longer. You can write it down, and get it all out. Send it to them if you want, or keep it for yourself. Either way, I thought maybe it could help put it all behind you. I hate the idea of you having anything swirling around in your head that makes you sad or forget how amazing you actually are. It kills me and I know it’s damn near killing you too.”
He lifts the papers toward me. They’re off-white and slightly textured with a subtle shimmer when the light hits them just right, making me think they weren’t cheap.
“Where on earth did you find beautiful paper like that?”
“I ordered it a few days ago. Just got here today.”
For a split second, my brain shoots down the idea. It’s easier to ignore my demons rather than face them, even if it’s just on paper and not in person. But I can’t heal if I pretend I’m not hurt. I can’t move on if I hold the emotions hostage.
It’s less frightening this way.
I step toward him slowly and place a hand on his chest. He bends down to kiss me, soft and sweet.
“You don’t have to do it right now,” he whispers. “Or ever, if you don’t want to. I’m not pressuring you, I just want to help.”
I lock eyes with him and count my lucky stars. I never imagined being with someone so thoughtful. Handsome. Relentlessly caring. He’s everything I ever needed. “You’re a once-in-a-lifetime man, Warren.”
His dimples crease on either side of his smile and he kisses me again. Part of me wants to deepen the kiss and stay inside my comfort zone by heading off to bed with him for the night and ignoring the scary urge to write out these letters. But the brave part of me knows that I shouldn’t push this to the back burner. I pull away with a sigh and place my hands on my hips. “I’m going to do it. Right now.”