He reaches out and takes my hand, stopping me from pacing. “And what happened?”
“It started with small criticisms. First, it was about the fact I didn’t wear makeup one Saturday. He thought I was taking him for granted and not trying anymore. He wanted to know why I didn’t cook his favorite dinners more often. By this point, he stopped cooking anything, and it was all on me to keep us fed.”
That should have been my wake-up call.
“Somehow, by the time we’d been together for a year and a half, he had me convinced I was the one in the wrong. But it got worse when my car broke down. He had it towed to a shop to get fixed. Every week, I’d ask when it would be ready, and he always said it would be ready soon. Finally, I asked which shop it was at, and he wouldn’t tell me. He insisted he drive me to work and home. Suddenly, my freedom to go out after work, go shopping, go anywhere was gone.”
My mind replays that first day when I called and asked him to pick me up later because I was going out with a friend. He said no. He told me he needed me. And so, I caved and canceled myplans. That set everything in motion. I just didn’t realize it at the time.
“Couldn’t you call an Uber or rent a car?”
I stop pacing but keep my back to his. “I didn’t have access to my money.”
“What do you mean?”
I turn and face him. “We’d agreed on having a joint bank account, so I had my checks deposited to it. He changed the password so I could never access it online, and I didn’t have a debit card. I had a credit card, but the limit was small, and he’d see the charges when the statement came in the mail. There was no branch of that bank near where I worked. I couldn’t figure out a way to get any money out of it.” I shake my head. “He’d been setting me up to control me all along, and I let it happen. I haven’t been able to tell you because I knew you’d think less of me.”
I turn my back to him because I can’t face his disgust or pity.
Durango stands and makes his way around the couch. “No, he manipulated you. That isn’t your fault.” He wraps his arms around me, and I lean into him. “You haven’t heard the worst of it yet.”
“I’m certain my opinion won’t change.”
I really wish that were true.
“He continued to drive me to and from work, getting more controlling over time. When the pandemic hit, I had no reason to go anywhere as far as he was concerned, since my office was shut down and we were all working remotely.”
“What about your parents? I remember they were huge on everyone getting together for the holidays. Did you talk to them when you went home?”
“The year I lost my car, I lied and told them I was sick. There was no way I could get to the airport or buy a plane ticket home.The next year, we didn’t have any internet service. I didn’t have a phone or any way to contact them.”
“No phone or internet? Didn’t you have a job?”
I shake my head. “After the holidays, my company laid off half of the employees. The pandemic had hurt the business. I lost my job. Once that happened, Tyler told me I had no need for a phone or internet.”
“He cut off your ability to reach out to anyone? He was holding you prisoner.”
I swallow. “I wasn’t tied up. But we lived far enough from everything that I couldn’t exactly walk into town. I thought about it a lot, how to escape. But I was worried he’d find me walking on the side of the road or someone who knew him would call and he’d pick me up. That would have made things worse.”
“But you did escape.”
I nod. “Eventually. After everything he put me through, I still thought he loved me. Until one night.”
Durango takes a deep breath and moves back to the couch to sit down. “What happened?” His voice is tight.
“I was home when he pulled in. He wasn’t alone. His coworker, Sasha, was with him. I’d met her once a few years before. She told me to my face she was going to sleep with Tyler someday. Well, that apparently was the day. Tyler brought her in. I asked what was going on. He said not to worry about it. He took her to our bedroom, where they had loud sex.”
Neither of us says a word for a minute. Finally, I glance over, fearful to see how disgusted he must be with me. Instead, I see rage.
“What’s Tyler’s last name?”
“No. I’m free of him. If you go after him, he’ll only cause you trouble.”
Durango nods. “True, but odds are he’ll do this to another woman.”
No, he couldn’t. That’s what I told myself. No one else would allow that. But I didn’t allow that. That’s something the therapist told me during our session.
“How did you get free?” Durango asks, changing the subject from Tyler’s last name.