It’s been a couple of months since we last talked about her needing space. There have been a few times when I thought she was going to open up to me or bring up the topic of us, but twice we were interrupted, and the third, she changed the subject. I don’t want to pressure her, but at the same time, I’m going crazy waiting. Does she need another week? Month? Year?
Do I need to accept the fact that whatever we may once have felt, the moment is gone? And I may never understand why.
It was great to catch up, but I need to put distance between us. Being around her without knowing why she’s keeping me at a distance is becoming too hard. She mentioned an ex buthasn’t gone into any detail. And if she were to suggest we just be friends…honestly, I don’t think I could.
If she brought some douchebag around, I doubt I’d handle it well. I rub my chin. She’s been getting close to Piper, Alicia, and Madison, which means she might be at any party or get-together.
Maybe I should try to find someone else to focus on. I have to laugh. Yeah, find someone in the shape I’m in right now. Not just physically. Mentally, I’d probably compare everyone to Willow.
I sit down and lay my head back on the couch. It’s no use trying to convince myself of all of this. I want Willow. I’ve had feelings for her for nearly twenty years. I can’t wish them away.
When I think about what she did with Ozzie to try to get to me ten years ago, I’m pissed. But talking to her these last several months has taught me one thing. She’s really matured over the years. But she also lost that glow that used to radiate from her. I think I catch glimpses here and there.
The front door opens, and Piper runs in with a bag. “Hey, I brought you lunch.”
This is the distraction I need right now. Piper sets the bag on the kitchen table.
“Thank you, but you didn’t need to leave work to do that.”
She shrugs. “It’s fine, and I like the walk. Besides, Willow texted me that you changed your mind about having lunch with her and plan to sleep instead. I knew that was bullshit the moment I heard it, so I’m here to check up on you. What’s going on?”
I join her in the kitchen and open the bag. It contains a sandwich. I unwrap it. A meatball sub. “You’re right. Thanks.”
She sits in a chair, staring at me. She isn’t going anywhere until I tell her what’s going on, but I’m starving, so she’s going to have to wait. I take a bite. The issue with Willow isn’t somethingI really want to talk about, but I should. My cousin might provide some womanly insight.
“Did something bad happen at physical therapy?” she asks.
“Nothing bad. Reed stopped in to see me.”
She nods. “How did that go?”
I finish chewing. “Thanks again for this.” I nod to the sandwich. “It went fine. He told me not to rush and I’ll still have a job when I’m ready.”
“Good. He’s right. You shouldn’t push so hard.”
“My doctor says it’s fine. I need to get back to work. I’m going to drive myself crazy by sitting around, thinking too much.” I take another bite.
She watches me, which makes me uncomfortable.
“Don’t watch me when I eat,” I say.
“Okay.” She goes to the kitchen and fills up two glasses of water, setting one in front of me. “Are you going stir-crazy? Or thinking about Willow too much?” Piper is perceptive; I’ll give her that.
“Both.” I set my sandwich down and launch into what’s been bothering me. “Ever since Willow and I have been back in touch, I’ve made it clear I want to date her. She told me she wasn’t ready to date yet. She’s said this many times over the past many months. I’m starting to wonder if there’s something more going on.”
“Like what?” Piper asks.
“It’s possible she’s playing games again.” It’s not something I’ve voiced out loud, but it is what I’m worried about. “I think I need some distance from her.”
Piper reaches across and takes my hand in hers. “She’s not playing games. Willow is dealing with something, and that’s why she’s hesitating. Now, it’s not my place to say what it is, but I’ve told her she needs to tell you.”
I cock my head. “You seem to know a lot of things. She’s confided in you about whatever she’s dealing with?”
Piper avoids my gaze. “Well, I wouldn’t say confided. I mean, she talked about it when we were all out at happy hour one time.”
“We?”
She shrugs. “Madison, Alicia, Willow, and me.”
