I shake my head. “He didn’t have to. We were both thinking it.”
Connie reaches for my hand. “Listen to me. You do not control your father. And you told me back then everything that had happened. Remember that night freshman year, when I gave you a bottle of whiskey and said ‘spill’?”
I groan. “Yes. I’d never been so drunk in my life. Ugh. I was miserable.”
“Yes, but you told me everything. You never asked your father to step into your relationship. Everything you said sounded more like you’d snuck around to avoid your father.”
As the memories come back one by one, I see her point.
“That might have been true back then,” I nod, “but I opened a door by asking my dad for help this time. Why would I ask him for help when his meddling is exactly what I want to stop?” I lay my head on my folded arms on the table and groan.
“I have a guess,” Connie says.
“Are you going to share?” I ask, not looking up.
“Honey, you spent years doing what your father wanted, only for him to freak out the one time you diverged from his path and cut you off. And despite what you say about being independent and not needing him, I think you still want his love and approval. He’s your dad. It’s ingrained in you to want that. But I’m afraid you’re never going to get it from him.”
I lift my head and wordlessly raise my brows.
“Sorry. I know that sounds harsh, but it’s true. From what I’ve seen, he’s not one to give love so much as he grants favors with the understanding that people then owe him, and he has control over them.”
She’s right. I know she is. But I’m his daughter. He loves me. I know he does. “He wants to protect me.” My voice cracks.
Connie tilts her head. “Of course, he wants to protect his family. But the way he does it is more than messed up. Look, you know damn well your dad isn’t going to stay out of your life. But as long as you keep opening the door for him, he’ll think he has the right to control it. Because that’s who he is.”
“Keep opening? I only did it once.”
Her brows shoot up. “Once? I think you have a selective memory. You went to him after Joseph stole your money the first time and you went to him when you needed money for graduate school. Each time you reached out, it sent a message that you are open to his help.”
I take another sip of my wine. Shit. She’s right. While I didn’t ask my dad for money when Joseph cleaned me out, I still went to him. And damn it, I should never have asked him for money for graduate school, but I thought because I was pursuing a PhD, he might change his mind about my choices.
I drop my head onto the table. “You’re right. I created this mess.”
“Thank you. So now what are you going to do about it?”
I groan. “What can I do? I’ll stop asking him for help.”
She frowns. “Okay, that’s a start.”
“What?” I lift my head. “I can tell you want to say something.”
“Do you want to be with Cody?”
“We already discussed this. I can’t. My dad will ruin him.”
“You didn’t answer my question. Do youwantto be with Cody?”
“I do.”
Connie leans back. “Then the only way to get away from your father’s meddling is to cut all ties.”
Cut all ties? Ronan cut all ties, and based on his social media, he’s pretty happy about it. But I can see it breaks my mom’s heart when he never visits on Christmas—or at all. And cutting all ties with my dad would mean losing my mom. I can’t do that.
But what if I don’t have to? My courage growing, I nod. “You’re right. I’m overdue with a talk with my dad.” I grab my phone.
“You’re going to talk to him rightnow?” she asks.
“No time better.” I hit call before I can change my mind.
