I followed the sandy path around the cabin, the scent of woodsmoke growing stronger as I approached the back deck. When I rounded the corner, I spotted them immediately. Cassidy and Harle were curled together on a double recliner, a thick blanket draped over them both. Harle’s arm was wrapped around Cassidy’s shoulders, her head tucked perfectly against his chest as they gazed out at the lake.
Something sharp and hollow expanded in my chest at the sight. They looked so... right together. So at peace. The casual intimacy between them spoke of a relationship built on solid ground, not the shifting sands of a fake engagement and mind-blowing sex.
“Mia!” Cassidy’s face lit up when she saw me. She nudged Harle, who immediately disentangled himself and stood.
“Hey, ,” Harle said with a warm smile. “You look like you could use a coffee. Or something stronger?”
“Coffee would be amazing, thanks.” My voice sounded strained.
Harle nodded, pressing a kiss to Cassidy’s forehead before heading inside. The casual gesture made my heart ache. Like I said, I was a total head case.
Cassidy patted the space beside her on the oversized recliner. “Come on. I’ve got a blanket with your name on it.”
I sank down beside her and she immediately threw half the blanket over my legs, tucking it around me with motherly care.
“So,” she said softly, her eyes searching my face. “Are you okay?”
The gentle question, asked with such genuine concern, cracked something inside me. To my horror, tears sprang to my eyes, blurring my vision of the peaceful lake.
“I don’t know,” I whispered, my voice shaking on the admission. “I really don’t know anymore.”
Cassidy didn’t rush to fill the silence. She simply reached over and squeezed my hand, her grip warm and steady.
“What can I do?” she asked finally.
I swallowed hard, fighting to regain control of my emotions. “Can I ask you something personal? About you and Harle?”
“Of course.”
“What was it like?” I pulled the blanket tighter around me. “After you broke up with him. Before you got back together.”
Understanding dawned in her eyes. She turned to look out at the lake, her expression thoughtful.
“It was like missing a limb,” she said after a long moment. “Raw. Empty. I’d wake up reaching for him. I’d think of something funny and turn to tell him, only to remember he wasn’t there.” She shook her head. “It was overwhelming, really.”
“How did you handle it?”
“How do you think I handled it? You were there.”
“Uh, yeah, pretty badly.”
“Exactly.” She laughed, but there was no humor in it. “I threw myself into work. Avoided all of you girls. Pretended I was fine.” Her fingers twisted the edge of the blanket. “But underneath all that, I was terrified.”
“Of what?”
“Of admitting how much I loved him. Because loving someone that much means giving them the power to destroy you.” She turned back to me, her eyes serious. “I was letting fear rule me, Mia. Fear of being hurt. Fear of not being enough. Fear of what might happen if I really let myself feel everything I was feeling.”
I couldn’t speak, her words hitting too close to home.
“The funny thing is,” she continued, “once I finally stopped fighting it, once I just allowed myself to acknowledge how I felt about him, it was like a weight lifted. Even before we got back together, just being honest with myself made it easier to breathe.”
“And you weren’t afraid anymore?”
“Oh, I was still scared shitless,” she admitted with a wry smile. “But at least I was scared of something real, not the monsters I’d created in my head.”
The sliding door opened, and Harle appeared with two coffee mugs. He handed out the coffees, glancing between Cassidy and me with a look of understanding. “I think I’ll take the dogs for a walk along the shore. They could use the exercise.”
Cassidy tilted her face up for his kiss, which he delivered with such natural affection that I had to look away. “Don’t go too far. It’s getting colder.”
