“Get fucked,” I growled, hating how much I ached for him.
“I’m about to,” he snapped back, yanking his fingers out of me as he moved up my body and caged me in against his sheets. “There’s a condom in my end table. Put it on me.” His eyes burned into my soul. “Wouldn’t want any more accidents between us.”
The tears burned against the edges of my vision as I recalled the words the doctor told me when he put Yejin in my arms after delivery.
You’ll never be able to have any more kids.
“No need,” I gasped, hoping he’d mistake my breathlessness for arousal and not weakness. “I can’t get pregnant.”
“Wouldn’t be the first time you told me you were safe and weren’t,” he pointed out, his words like knives in my soul. And yet, here I was, on my back in his bed, about to let him have his way with me.
Wordlessly, I inched up the bed and reached into his nightstand, yanking out the box of condoms with a grimace.Had he planned to use them on another girl?
It’s none of my business. He’s not mine anymore.
Wordlessly, I pulled a single foil wrapper from the box and tossed the rest away, unwrapping it like I’d done it a thousand times before. In reality, I’d only ever used them once or twice before, with him. Years and years ago.
But it was like riding a bike.
“Are you pulling it out or do I have to?” I stared at his pants as if I could undo them without touching him. Like the condom might magically put itself on if I just stared hard enough.
“If you want it, then take it.”
I had never been one to back down from a challenge, but I wasn’t going to lay here on my back and let him play power games with me. I might be his assistant right now, but I was nobody’s puppet.
With a well-placed leg hook move, I rolled us so he was on his back, my skirt hiding my lower half from his eyes as I settled back on his thighs and let my hands trail over his belt. “You’re the one who dragged me up here to ravish.” I let my gaze fall to his bulge, which was impressive, now that I was up close and personal. “But I’m not one to turn down a good time when it’s offered to me.”
Another lie. But he didn’t have to know that. As long as I kept him at a distance, everything would be okay.
Without another word, I yanked his belt free of the buckle, tore his zipper down, and reached inside his pants like I’d been doing this to men my whole life. Like I was some experienced pro at it. I didn’t let it phase me that I hadn’t held a dick in my hands in years. Not since his, seven years ago.
“Fuck,” he whispered under his breath, gasping for air as he stared up at me. “You handle a lot of dicks in our time apart?”
For the first time since I’d promised myself not to get involved, I slipped up and let the cracks in my wall show.
“Just this one.”
Shit.
Shit shit shit.
Before he could process that revelation, I stroked him from hilt to tip, prepping him for the condom. With a flick of mywrist, I had the damn thing over his impressive cock, watching it twitch in my hand as a rush of power flooded my senses.
I’d dreamt of this day for so damn long, and now that the moment was here, all I could do was file away every soft sigh and moan of his for the future.
This wouldn’t be happening again.
“Ride me,” he demanded, staring at my hand on his dick like he’d never seen it in the grip of a woman before in his life. “I like to watch.”
Fuck, why was that so hot?
I groaned and lifted my skirt out of the way, his eyes like a physical presence on me as I inched upward and hovered over his cock, prepared to impale myself on him without remorse. But it wasn’t like before. I wasn’t prepared for the way he stretched me out, all the way from tip to base, his cock twice the size I remembered.
“Shit,” I whispered, throwing my head back with a groan. “You’re so big.”
“That’s what they all tell me,” he mocked, clearly pleased with himself and his prowess in bed. “But I’ve had no complaints.”
“Well let me be the first.”
