“I don’t feel so lonely when I’m with him,” I continue, as though the tubby feline understands exactly what I’m saying. “I know what you’re thinking—it’s all so fast. Part of me is waiting for the other shoe to drop, but I am optimistic that it won’t. I have to be, Potato. There hasn’t been much hope in my life lately, but Miller makes me think a little differently. I feel like I can see the good again.”
A deep ache resonates in my chest and I picture the faces of my mom, dad, and brother. They would have loved Miller. My dad especially. But I know Miles would have been skeptical about how fast my new relationship has been moving. He was always protective of me.
A sob strangles in my throat, and before I know it’s happening, tears stream down my face.
Potato looks at me with a bored expression, curling further into himself to take a nap. I should go get ready, but instead, I sit here, chest heavy, as I stare out my bedroom window with my hand perched on my cat.
I wish I had a time machine so I could go back to that day and just draw out our goodbyes a little longer. If we had just spent a little more time at that restaurant, maybe things would be different.
Maybe they wouldn’t have been hit by that car.
Time seems to stand still, and I’m not sure how long I sit on the edge of my bed, but I’m pulled from my thoughts when I hear the water in the kitchen shut off. Realizing I need to get ready,I go into the bathroom and pull out my hairbrush, curling iron, and my makeup bag.
Being relatively low maintenance has its perks, and I’m finished in less than 15 minutes. When I come out of the bathroom, Miller is on the couch with a deep scowl on his face, staring down at his phone.
“What’s wrong?” Sinking onto the cushion next to him, I place my hand on his thigh.
He pushes the side button, darkening his screen. “I was just texting with Lincoln. He’s going to be at my aunt and uncle’s on New Year’s Eve.”
“Is that a problem?” Sure, I may have fake dated Lincoln for a day, but it’s not like we actually had feelings for each other—which Miller obviously knows.
“Not really, but he does want to tell my aunt and uncle the truth. He said the guilt is weighing on him. I told you we wouldn’t have to tell them anything you weren’t comfortable with, and now Lincoln is trying to derail that.”
“Oh, well, you and I had already discussed it. I think it’s what’s best. I don’t want there to be lies between us. They were so kind and welcoming, and I’ve already broken their trust.”
His intentions are good. I know they are.
“I just don’t want to put any more on you…”
Taking his hand in mine, I squeeze it. “It’ll be fine, and if it’s not, then we will figure it out then.”
Miller wraps his arm around me and pulls me close. “You’re right. Let’s not dwell on it now. It’s time for me to show off my ice-skating skills.”
“Are you good at skating?”
“The best. I used to be pro.” His smile is coy, like he’s suppressing a laugh, and my eyes widen.
“Seriously?”
“No,” he says through laughter. “I’m actually really terrible at ice-skating, so this should be interesting.”
“Oh, no! That’s not good.”
“Why?”
“Because one of us needs to be good at it to carry the other.”
“You suck at skating too?”
“Big time.”
“Great. Well, at least we’ll be embarrassed together.”
The ice rink glitters from the Christmas lights around it, reflecting off the ice. Holiday music plays through the speaker system, still giving Christmas cheer even though it’s about to be New Year’s Eve.
Happiness oozes from every direction as families and couples skate. Tables are full of families enjoying hot chocolate together, and couples in cozy winter jackets and beanies line the bar. It’s far busier than I thought it would be, but as we put our skates on, excitement tingles me, zipping around my bloodstream in a rush of endorphins.
“Are you ready for this?” Miller asks, taking my hand.
