Reaching between us, I use my thumb and pointer finger to grasp her chin, tipping it back so she’s looking me in the eye. “Sì, it does. We cannot ignore who we are. Where we come from. La mia famiglia is the most important part of my life, and I can’t just pretend like they aren’t.”
“I’ve never onc?—”
“But I also cannot pretend like I feel nothing when I’m aroundyou.”
Vinnie’s breathing hitches with my admission, sucking in a breath as confusion blankets her face.
For a moment, I look up at the ceiling and urgemyself to continue. I’m at war with myself at this moment, blurring the lines between right and wrong.
Everything as I know it could go up in flames if I’ve misread her at any point.
“I should hate you, but I don’t. I should recoil from your touch, from your scent, from your verybeing. I should be strong enough to stay away from you, but when you’re near, I find myself wanting to do the very opposite.”
“You don’t even know me,” Vinnie whispers. She’s still standing in my arms, giving me her full attention even though my hand has returned to grip the other, resting on her back.
“No, but Iwantto. And that’s a problem for me, Vincenza, because I’msupposedto loathe you.”
The words linger between us, echoing through the magnetism that zips in the air. I swallow thickly, and her tongue peeks from between her lips to wet them, my eyes dropping to track the movement.
Then suddenly, the spell is broken.
Vinnie gently pushes her hands against my chest, breaking the chain my arms have created behind her, and she steps back, out of my hold.
“We can’t,” she says quietly, shaking her head.
“I know.”
“I have to go.” She takes a step, her hand wrapping around the doorknob to leave.
My stomach falls, and I hate that every fiber of my being wants me to beg her to stay.
“I know,” I agree, but she’s already gone.
Chapter 14
Sly
Four days have passed and I’m surprised I have yet to go into cardiac arrest with the way my heart has been aggressively racing behind my rib cage.
My mind has replayed the day Vinnie came to my apartment over and over, scrutinizing every detail, my brain raging a war between whether I made a colossal mistake or simply a naïve one.
I should have never spoken my mind about my interest in her. It was foolish, and I had let myself fall into a moment of weakness. A fleeting moment where I removed the rivalry between our families and took a step back, looking at the woman in front of me and allowing myself to think about what could happen if she wasn’t a Paladino.
To deny my attraction to her would be an outright lie. Still, these last few days have been eating me alive.
“Sylvester, amore mio, sembri teso.”Sylvester, my love, you seem tense.
Mia madre has her arm looped through mine as we stroll together through Central Park. It’s a beautiful day, the sun is brightly shining through the trees, the air warm. But Mamma is perceptive. She can read me like a book.
“It’s just been a long week, Mamma. I am okay.”
“You may fool the world, mio figlio, but you cannot fool tua madre. Tell me, what is plaguing your mind?”
Telling her is tempting, but I know I could never. She would keep my secret, but the disappointment she’ll surely have is enough to keep my lips sealed. Her anger does not burn as brightly as the men in our family, but it’s still there.
To admit that I am feeling even the smallest of feelings toward a Paladino would bring great shame. I can’t even tell mia madre about my work frustrations, as that is another secret I keep.
They keep piling up, and if I’m not careful, I fear I may drown in them.
