Life had been crazy over the last two years and I’d decided I needed a change.
Oh, who was I kidding? My life has always been crazy, and I was constantly making changes to myself. But it was within the last couple of years, while watching two of my best friends find their happiness, I realizedIwasn’t happy.
Growing up, my biggest hardship was low self-esteem and an unhealthy relationship with binge eating. Eventually, I fell into the other extreme and became good friends with a little plague called the starvation diet. I trained my body to survive on water-based foods and extremely lean proteins (every once in a while) while I also obsessively killed myself in the gym.
For years I was a slender little minx, but it cost me my happiness.
I conformed to what I thought I needed to look like for society—what I needed to look like to fit into my “bad girl reputation” I had so eloquently placed upon myself. Slender. Dark hair. Big tits. Tattoos.
For what?
That was the million dollar question, and let me just tell you, it wasn’t worth a goddamn penny.
Once I had my come to Jesus moment and realized I didn’t need to be anyone other than myself, I said goodbye to the salads I forced down my throat and reacquainted myself with carbs. And if people didn’t like it, they could promptly fuck off.
Then, I spent a small fortune at the salon to turn my jet-black hair back to my natural—or as close as I could get to it—brunette. I even treated myself to a few extra tattoos, because why the hell not?
Instead of a size four, I was now more of a comfortable eight/ten, and I loved myself more than ever.
So when Cain’s gaze finally reconnected with mine, I jutted my chin out with confidence and gave him my award-winning attitude. “Why the hell are you out here? Enjoying the audio-version of the porn you’ll never get to watch?”
His smirk made my stomach turn. The jury was still out on whether it was a good “butterflies” type or bad “want to upchuck all over him” type of turn.
Probably a little of both.
Cain, unfortunately, caused the butterflies in my stomach to flutter whenever I caught sight of him, which seemed to be more frequent lately. He’d aged like a fine wine. Thirty-five years old and a fine specimen of a man. He was covered head to toe in black and gray tattoos—at least I was sure he was. I hadn’t ever seen him completely naked, but had seen him without his shirt many, many times. He had that rugged appearance that made my toes curl. His coffee brown hair was always messily pulled back into a bun at the crown of his head, and his facial hair was always scruffy, but in a way that worked for him. He had the zero effort thing down and in his favor. Add that to his blue jeans, t-shirt, and leather vest decked out with club insignia—damn, he was fine.
An ass, but pretty to look at.
“Hearing youfake itwas the highlight of my night, Rose,” he told me, his voice thick with sarcasm.
I flipped him the bird before pushing off the door I still leaned against. Giving him my back, I walked down the pitch-black hallway. Not many people were up in the bedrooms yet, it was hardly midnight, but Sly and I had snuck off earlier in the night. The vibration from the bass of the speakers rattled the walls from the music playing in the bar on the floor below us. “Stop calling me Rose,” I called over my shoulder.
Cain’s footsteps were heavy behind me as he followed. “Where are you hurrying off to?”
I took the opportunity of being cloaked in darkness to button my shirt. My feet were bare and I moved quietly, but he was hardly three steps behind me. When I made it to the back staircase, I stopped and turned to him, turning on the fake charm. “What do you want, Cainy-boo?”
I ran my finger down the soft leather of his vest and along the waistband of his jeans. My sarcasm didn’t go unnoticed, and he boxed me in, caging me as my back pressed against the cool wooden banister.
“You know,Rose, your attitude isn’t as off-putting as you think.” He traced his nose against my cheek, tipping his lips toward my ear. “Iseeyou,” he whispered softly.
My body betrayed me, and a shiver ran over my skin. The cocky bastard knew it too, because he added, “I know this isn’t one-sided. You’re just fucking around with Sly and buying time until I finally claim you.”
“You can’t claim a woman who wants nothing to do with you, Cain.”
“Your body seems to disagree with that statement.”
“It’s cold in here, asshole. My goosebumps are for lack of warmth, not lack of dick. We both know I’m not lacking in the latter, so just go ahead and fuck off back to where you came from.”
He tipped his head back and released a husky laugh. “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, right, Rose?”
“To have fury toward you, Cain, would imply I care. Which I don’t. Truly.”
“Your words pain me, baby.”
“Actions speak louder than words, Cain. Although you seem to have a knack for making your words pretty damn loud.”
His features turned dark and his mood sobered. No longer smirking and laughing, I could see the fire behind Cain’s eyes as he searched my face, looking for a glimmer of sarcasm or playfulness to indicate I wasn’t being serious. But I was.
