“I remember, but you also won’t tell me anything about it, so until I get some hard evidence, mister Lieutenant, I’m going to keep letting Sly satisfy my kitty cat.”
“I don’t need to know who’s satisfying you, Rosie. Why don’t we change the subject and you tell me why you’re really here? What are you avoiding today? Because I know it’s something.”
“I have to be avoiding something to come hang out with my bestie?”
“That’s usually your M.O., yes.”
Slamming both hands on my chest, I rested them over my heart and pushed my lower lip out. “Your words hurt me Noah-ba-boah.”
“Jesus Christ,” he said, rolling his eyes at me. “Always so dramatic.”
“Andyou’realways so grouchy, mister.”
He quirked an eyebrow, giving me a look that said ‘spill it’.
Ugh. The bastard always knew when I was keeping something to myself. I guess that’s what made him such a great cop. He could see right through you.
I huffed dramatically and pulled my hair into a messy bun as I told him. “Cain. What else?”
“Now what?”
“He’s just…there. Existing. I don’t want him to exist.”
Noah laughed sarcastically, knowing I was full of shit. “I think you’d be pretty upset if he didn’t exist, Rose.”
“No, I wouldn’t.”Yes, I would.“I just don’t understand what he wants. I mean, obviously I do. He wants me. But why? It’s been almost seven years. Surely he’s not still holding onto something that didn’t even really happen seven years ago?”
“Like you’re not holding on to something that didn’t even really happen seven years ago?” Noah argued. He loved to make me think about things in a different way. His favorite pastime was making me realize I was being an asshole.
Narrowing my eyes, I tucked my feet beneath me, curling onto Noah’s couch. “I’m holding onto what he said to me as a reminder of why he’ll never win me back. Not how I felt back then.”
“Aren't they one and the same? It’s okay to admit that you still care, Rosie. It doesn’t make you weak.”
“What does it make me then? If I were to admit that being around Cain fucking Michaels feels like I’ve finally come back home and that being in the same vicinity as him has the hole in my stupid fucking heart I thought was healed, not feel as empty? Because I can’t admit that, Noah. I won’t. He hurt me and I won’t allow myself to ever get hurt by a man again.”
“It makes you human, Rosie. It’s okay to give someone a second chance if you feel like they’ve earned it.”
“He hasn’t earned it, though, Noah. He’s barely just waltzed back into my life and apologized.”
Grabbing my face between his large palms, Noah squeezed my cheeks, forcing me to look him dead in the eyes.
“Who are you?”
“Rosie,” I said through squished lips.
His eyes narrowed, and he shook his head slowly. “Rosie, who?”
Letting out a low growl, I rolled my eyes. Through my fish lips, I said with a distorted voice, “Rosie Adler.”
Noah shook his head slowly, giving me a stern look. My answer wasn’t good enough, and I knew exactly what his angle was. “Rosie.Who?”
“RosiefuckingAdler.”
“There she is. Now, make goddamn sure he has to work for it.”
* * *
The movementof my office door opening caught my eye as I laid on the plush couch in my office, ignoring the overwhelmingly long to-do list that sat on my desk. Opting for a little me time instead, I had one wireless headphone in, listening to my favorite true-crime podcast while I completed a stupid sunset landscape puzzle on a brain-teaser app I downloaded a few weeks ago. Sometimes just zoning out to simple things was exactly what the doctor ordered, especially when my mind was on overdrive.
