We ended the call on good terms, but I felt worse than I had before. Not only had she applied without telling me, but Haley had done an interview too. She was actually serious about this job, and I couldn’t blame her one bit. I’d like to have thought it was Richard Lee just being a snake in the grass, but something told me Haley’s mentor had something to do with this too.
I laid my head back and closed my eyes. I was losing her, all because someone else could offer her the next step in her career. If she took that job in LA, she’d move, and then what? Life was too busy to have a long-distance relationship. I had a business to run, and I had hoped she would partner with me in building it to something amazing, something that buried Global in the dirt. Now, all I wanted was for her to promise she’d never leave, and I’d likely ruined that too due to my own disrespect and inability to tell her how I really felt.
This couldn’t happen. I couldn’t let Haley take that job and move. I needed her.
23
HALEY
Iheard their hushed whispers as I walked past Parker’s office door. He wasn’t in today. His office was dark, but the gossip had gotten worse while we were away. Lauren and Maria stood in Maria’s cubicle talking in hushed tones. Their eyes followed me as I strolled past. I felt a lump in my throat wanting to choke me and forced it down. After the weekend I had, I didn’t have emotional energy to deal with this too, but here I was, unable to escape it.
The entire day had been this way, people staring and talking. Jack Williams had glared at me every time I saw him, though he never approached me. He was probably warned off by Mr. Green or Mr. Wright. I was just glad the day was almost over and I had dinner plans. I’d be driving to my father’s house in the suburbs and spending some much-needed time with him.
“So I heard you and Danvers were away together.” Maria’s snarky tone made me shudder. I knew there was a possibility that people would talk about us both being gone at the same time, but Parker had taken a few extra days off. I hoped that would make it look like he was somewhere other than with me in LA.
I sat in my chair and spun around to face her. “I don’t know why you heard that.” It was difficult maintaining a poker face when I knew I was bluffing. My sun-kissed skin from sitting poolside in the gorgeous California weather was a stark contrast to the pasty white tone of my mid-May norm.
“Does it matter?” She leaned on the edge of my desk, one hand on either side of her hips. “Is it true? Are you really banging Danvers?”
I sighed, wanting to refute the rumors but not because I feared for my career anymore. Now, I wanted to make it clear that Parker and I were not a thing because after his behavior on the trip, I wasn’t sure I wanted to date him anymore. I didn’t want that black cloud of a bad mistake I made hanging over me.
“Mr. Danvers and I are not involved.” I said it with half-confidence. Part of me really believed it was over now, even though another part of me was only hurt because I didn’t want it to be over and feared I’d never find another man like him.
“You think people are going to believe that, Haley? We see the way he looks at you. You got that fancy promotion, and then you just happen to both be gone for a long weekend at the same time?”
Her cold tone made me shrink into myself further. I always considered Maria a friend of mine, but how easily sheep become wolves when someone is vulnerable. I turned back to my desk and wiggled my computer mouse, waking my sleeping machine. “I’m done talking to you about this. If you need something, I’d be happy to help you.”
Maria scoffed and walked out, and then it was Lauren’s turn. She hounded me like a child taunting a tiny dog. Her accusations were worse than Maria’s too, insinuating we’d had sex in the office the way Jack and Gretchen had. I had to chase her out of my cubicle and in the process, I drew the attention of the entire newsroom. Eyes examined me from every cubicle in the place,and even David stared when I shouted at Lauren to leave me alone.
I packed my computer bag and took my jacket and left shortly after that. I wasn’t getting any work done, anyway. My ability to focus had been destroyed and I felt like I needed a drink. I didn’t even stop at home, driving right to the highway and out toward the western suburbs and Dad’s house. He was happy to see me there early, and I was just glad he was home when I got there. I hadn’t even called to check whether he had plans before our arranged time for my arrival.
“Haley, you don’t look so good. I mean, you’re as beautiful as always, but you look stressed.” He escorted me from the driveway up the winding path to the front door. His house was a small two-bedroom ranch that Parker’s mansion dwarfed, but it was home to me, despite never having lived there.
“I am stressed, Dad.” He opened the door, and I walked in, shedding my coat as I went, and collapsed on his couch. The house smelled delicious, like something in the crockpot cooking.
Dad sat next to me, a calming presence as always. “Tell me what’s wrong. How did your trip go? Did they pass you over for someone else?” I’d told him about the trip to LA, and he probably assumed it was for the interview I also told him about. I hadn’t mentioned that it was supposed to be a romantic thing for Parker and me to do, and I was glad. I didn’t want him hounding me about it too.
I kicked my shoes off and drew my legs up onto the couch, sitting cross-legged. These father-daughter talks were something I used to cherish. Ever since Mom died, Dad was all I had left. He would let me curl up next to him and talk about boys, or my period, or even friend drama. He never complained that certain topics were too personal for him, and because of that, I still had a great relationship with him.
“I’m really uncertain whether I want to leave Chicago. It seems like they are very interested in me, and if they make me an offer, I don’t know what to do.” I wrung my hands in my lap, and Dad grabbed them and held them for a moment, halting my nervous habit.
“Okay, well you have to ask yourself a few things. First of all, did you like the city?”
“Yeah, Daddy, I loved the city. I met a really great woman named Becca who showed me around. It’s really nice out there.” It was difficult recounting that day to him because of how I felt about Parker the entire time I was out by myself.
“Next question. Do you want to advance your career enough to make big changes? Take risks?” His sincere eyes held nothing but love and compassion for me. When I hesitated to answer, he continued. “Your mother died so young, Haley. You were twelve, she was thirty-two. Now you’re twenty-four, only eight years younger than she was when she died.”
I sighed. I knew what he was going to say because he had told me so many times. Now was one of the times I probably needed to hear it the most, but I didn’t want to hear it. I wanted to hear Parker explain why he’d been so cold to me. I wanted to hear him tell me he loved me again and that he’d make it up to me. I wanted love, not a job.
“You need to see the world, take risks. You have dreams you need to chase. Your mother did too, but she refused to take the leap because she had you. She chose to put off all of her dreams to be the best mother she could. She thought she’d have time later, when you were grown, but look what happened. I don't want you to put your life off because you’re afraid and never see your dreams realized. Life is short, honey.”
“I know, Daddy.” I wanted those words to sink in and touch the place in my heart that only a few years ago was on fire with passion to chase my dream of getting a Pulitzer. Dr. James hadlit that fire under me, and it was what spurred me to apply forThe Vine. With her backing me, I had gotten the job of my dreams at the time, straight out of college when most people I graduated with were freelancing for low-budget local papers.
“I’m going to go check on dinner. You can wait here or you can join me.” He stood and waited for a response.
“I’m just going to chill here for a few minutes. I need to process what you said, okay?” He ruffled my long hair before walking away, like he used to do when I was just a kid.
Mom’s death had been hard on both of us, but I knew he took it harder. I also knew part of the reason he took it so hard was because the thing she wanted most in her life was to build a career as a mentor to younger women, something she’d dabbled in for a while before her diagnosis. That’s what drove her for so long to be the best mother she could to me, because she wanted her own daughter to have the best of her before she poured out to anyone else.
