I began to worry if Parker really was just pouring out all this affection and amazing sex to keep me happy with working atThe Vineinstead of leaving. But then, he didn’t know about my job opportunity at Global yet. Only Dr. James knew—and me—but I wasn’t about to say a thing until I’d sorted it out in my head. I didn’t know what was happening between me and Parker. He was two decades my senior, and honestly, if I had to tell my father I’d slept with him, I’d have a panic attack. Dad was very old-fashioned. The age gap would destroy him.
“What are you thinking about? Trying to pick which car still?” His gentle nudge burned my conscience.
“Honestly, no. You know how Dr. James is mentoring me?” He nodded, so I continued, “Well, she put my name in for a position at theGlobal Gazettein LA. They need an anchor reporter in their international news division. Higher pay, more exposure, the freedom to choose my own stories.”
Dad whistled through his teeth. “Wow, Haley. That’s amazing. So do you have an interview or something?”
“Uh, not yet. I just know I’d have to move there. LA is so far from Chicago. I’d miss you and Rachel.” I thought about Parker. I’d miss him too, but I didn’t dare tell Dad how I’d be screwing up the most meaningful romantic relationship I’d had in years. “I don’t know if I could do it.”
“Well, you have my blessing if that’s what you’re asking. We could still visit. Rachel would be only a phone call away, and since you’re not really dating right now, you have no other strings holding you down. You should consider it. It could be huge for your career.”
If he only knew the ramifications of this car on the company dime, and how Parker’s hands had been all over my body just seven days ago. To stay meant zero career advancement without certain judgments being made about my character by people who knew me. It meant facing the stigma of the woman who sleeps her way to the top. It meant limitations. But getting a job in LA meant leaving a man I was falling in love with and the city I’d called home.
“Thanks, Dad.” I let him lead me in the building where I handed the salesman the blank check fromThe Vinealong with Parker’s business card. I ended up picking the hybrid SUV, after all. It made the most sense to me and would last me for at least ten or fifteen years if I took good care of it. We signed all the paperwork, and the salesman promised that it would be delivered to my apartment after it had been cleaned and serviced.
When I sat in Dad’s car, I felt like I was sinking into a pit. Accepting the gift added a layer of complexity to my professional and personal relationship with Parker. It would be wrong of me to accept this “bonus” as an employee and then just leave to work for the rival paper. It would be just as wrong for me to accept the gift from my “boyfriend”—if that was what we were calling it now—and then break his heart by leaving town.
“Penny for your thoughts.” Dad pulled into traffic and headed toward my place. If he knew my thought’s, he’d want his penny back.
“Just thinking about the job opportunity. It makes me nervous to think about life in a different huge city when Chicago is all I’ve known.”
“Ah, well, don’t look at it as intimidating. Look at it like an adventure. You’re the one who wants to climb the peaks of Machu Picchu to see the sunrise.” His chuckle reminded me of my teenage years when international journalism to me meant seeing the world. Now I just wanted to report about it, though seeing it wasn’t entirely off my bucket list either.
“You’re right. I just need to put more thought into it.” I rode the rest of the way to my apartment in silence. Dad played an oldies station, and we enjoyed each other’s company. He probably assumed I was weighing the pros and cons of the job when in reality, I was obsessing about Parker’s motives. I really liked him. I hadn’t been lying when I told him I thought I was falling in love with him.
I just didn’t want to get to the end of the day and find out he really was just schmoozing me so I’d help his company. The line between personal and professional was so blurred, even I couldn’t tell if he just wanted a great reporter to partner with him andThe Vineor if he wanted a great partner to work toward his dreams. It mattered to me that I was primarily his partner, even if I chose to leave the profession. Otherwise, I was just a pawn in his game. Part of me wanted to accept the job just to test his interest in me personally.
Then again, maybe Parker could completely separate the two parts of himself so that he could still love me even if I worked for his competitor. Or so he could still employ me even if I broke up with him. I felt tears welling up at the thought and had to force myself to think about something else to stop from crying. Thesewere things I needed to discuss with him, but I doubted I’d trust his answers even if he was truthful.
16
PARKER
Istood with keys in hand at Haley’s door, knocking. When the car lot told me they’d be delivering the car this afternoon, and Haley requested the day off work, I decided to intercept the delivery and hand her the keys myself. Now I waited for her to answer, eager to see the smile on her face with the delivery.
The door swung open and she grinned at me. “Parker? You’re supposed to be at work.” She stepped aside and gestured for me to come in. “The car lot is set to deliver the car any minute. They told me one p.m. today, but I think they’re running a bit late. You’ll get to see it when they show up.” The way she rambled on revealed some nervous energy. I wasn't sure if it was me or the excitement of the new car.
“Well, I’ve already seen it.” I winked at her and turned to face her as she shut the door.
“You have? Did you go to the lot?”
“I met them in the parking garage.” I held my hand out, key fob lying on my palm. “Congratulations on your new car.”
Haley squealed and clapped her hands before taking the key from my hand and wrapping her arms around my neck. “Thankyou so much, Parker. You really didn’t have to do this. It is such a generous bonus.”
I hugged her and kissed her forehead. It felt right for her to be in my arms. Following the scolding Tom and David tried to give me this week, doubts had begun to spring up, but being alone with her soothed those irrational worries. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling of her body against mine until she pushed away.
The bright smile that had been on her face when I handed her the keys was gone, replaced with worry lines and concern in her eyes. “Can we talk?” Those words were never good to hear, but following such a difficult conversation in the office this week, they made the worry manifest again.
“Sure,” I said. I followed her to the dining room table where she gestured for me to sit and sat in the chair next to me. The polka dotted top she wore was flattering on her, hugging her curves in just the right way to accentuate her breasts. She caught me noticing her and cleared her throat.
“Eyes up here, please.” When I looked up at her face, she still had a solemn expression. “Listen, I’ve been thinking about a lot of things and I’m sort of still not fully?—”
“You’re still concerned that I’m manipulating you?” I wasn’t offended by her insecurity, but I was saddened to hear that she still felt that way. “What changed? I thought you believed me.”
“My dad.” Her face dropped. She held the key fob in her hand and fiddled with the large, plastic, yellow tag from the dealership that served as the identification means. “He thinks you’re trying to use your money to ‘own’ me or make me work for you by means of guilt and peer pressure.” She shrugged. “Parker, I’m not sure what to think when two people I trust very much are warning me.”
There was a part of me that was hurt and maybe a bit angry that she didn’t believe me, but I could see how it might appearto outsiders who didn’t understand that I cared about her. Still, if we didn’t have trust, we didn’t have anything. Relationships were built around being able to believe in the person you were dating. I didn’t know what more I could do to prove to her that I wanted her for her, not for any other reason.
