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November 23
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Maximus Aurelius Moore,
Aka Hardcore
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Standing outside on the balcony of my Italian studio in Rome, wearing only a pair of black Calvin Klein briefs, I rub my cock absentmindedly and try to wait patiently for the sweet little piece of ass I've hired to photograph to get ready for the shoot.It's been too long between visits.
Listening to the sounds of the civilized city beyond, my mind drifts back to the call I received this morning from Dirk Sam, my old army buddy."Moore, my man!You still walking around with a dick stiff enough to be mistaken for the cyclic?"
I laughed into the phone."I am.You still hanging a dick long enough to choke a gorilla?"
"I still don't know about that, brother, but it's longer than a banana."
"Sup, Sam-I-am?It's good to hear your voice.It's been too damn long since you needed a favor.What can I do for you?"
He chuckled into the phone."I've got TDY orders for Rucker and wanted to hit you up for a place to stay."
"Beautiful.I'll clean off the couch.When?"
"In the spring.I'm waiting on a class assignment, so I don't have the exact dates yet, but I won't be sleeping on your couch this time.I'll need a nice apartment."
"Really?A cheapskate like you never turned down a free place to crash before."
"Moore, I got hitched."Dirk laughed.
"What the fuck?Hitched as in married?"I asked, truly shocked.
"Yeah.Married.Me."Dirk laughed even harder."It's a long story, bro.Too long for a phone call.It'll take several six-packs of brew to get through."
"With news like this, you gotta give me the short version."
"I fucked this crazy bitch years ago in London, and when I came back, I looked her up.She needed a husband, so I married her."He chuckled, enjoying stringing me along.
"You're fucking with me, Sam."I laughed.
"No, man.I'm serious.I'm not pulling a fast one over on you.I'm for real.I've made a deal with a devil, but she's one helluva devil."He paused, then asked."So, can you help me find an apartment?"
"Of course.No problem.Just let me know as soon as you know what your dates are, and I'll lock you into a lease.You'll be all set when you arrive."
"Great.I knew I could count on you."
"Always, brother.I got your back."
He put his hand over the phone to muffle the sound of his voice."My buddy stationed at Fort Rucker….Yeah.Don't worry.He'll find us a place that's not in the slums…."He removes his hand, and I hear the crazy British she-devil.
"You trust this buddy?"
"With my life."
"Good, because if you drag me to a hellhole to live, I'll kill you, Nicholas Dirkerus Sam."
