Love for the woman sitting next to him surged through him. Marty felt immeasurably blessed and scared all at the same time.
He wished for all the world he knew where Emma’s emotions were right now. Did she feel the same way about him? Could she grow to love him as much as he loved her?
God, I can see a future here. It scares me to think that I could be wrong. That maybe Emma isn’t on the same page. Help me to enjoy where we are now, and trust that You have our future secured, no matter what it holds.
He lifted their joined hands and pressed a kiss to the back of hers.
When the episode ended, he reluctantly released her hand and turned the projector off with a sigh.
“You’ve officially spoiled me. Now watching this on a normal television will never be the same.” Emma groaned as she stood. “And I can see now that painting is as much of a workout as a ninja class.”
Marty used his crutch and easily got to his feet. He could feel his own muscles protesting. “Yep. I’m right there with you.” He smiled. “You know you’re welcome to crash on my couch and watch NCIS whenever you want to.”
She gave him a pretty smile that bordered on shy. “I appreciate that.”
Today had been nearly perfect. For that reason, Marty was tempted to simply walk her to the front door, kiss her goodnight, and watch her leave. But a question kept nagging at him. He’d asked her before, but she always avoided answering. He got it when they were somewhere in public.
Maybe here, in the privacy of his home, she’d feel more inclined to give him a straight answer.
As the question formed on his tongue, he prayed voicing it wouldn’t upset her.
“Emma? Why don’t you go to church anymore?”
The relaxed expression on her face transformed as her brows drew together and her gaze dropped from his face. “Marty, I’d rather not.”
“Because you’d rather not talk to me about it? Or because you don’t want to think about it yourself?”
Silence.
Yeah, that’s what he’d figured. She’d been avoiding the question herself for some reason. Or at least didn’t want to analyze her reasons.
Marty moved closer to her, hoping to reassure her with his presence. “Maybe you’d feel better if you did talk about it. No judgment here. It’s just that, when Caleb mentioned the barbecue at our church, you looked like you weren’t sure whether you wanted to go or run away.” He studied her. If he wasn’t mistaken, she was considering the latter now.
Part of him regretted even asking her, but a bigger part knew he needed to.
Emma shook her head, her gaze fixed on an invisible spot on the back of the couch to her right. “Because going to church would be weird. Fake. I haven’t talked to God more than a handful of times in years. If church is supposed to be God’s house, then I’d be intruding.”
“Are you kidding? God’s doors—His arms—are always open to you.”
She looked at him then as she shifted her hands to her hips. “I don’t think so.” Annoyance and hurt flashed in her eyes. “He’s ignored me. Made me feel invisible. If it were a family member or friend who treated me like that, I wouldn’t go back to their house. Beg for attention.” Her voice cracked.
Marty’s heart broke for her. For the pain she was clearly experiencing. “Oh, honey, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.” He reached for her, but she took a step away.
“No. Don’t try to tell me it’s all in my head. Or that I’m being petty. Don’t try to tell me all I need to do is ask Him for help. Because none of that is true.” Her eyes filled with tears, and she roughly brushed them away. “Not when I spent years as a child begging for God to fix my heart. I went to sleep with a prayer on my lips, sure that when I woke the next morning, I would be healed. Ibelieved, Marty. With the faith of a child. If that wasn’t enough, there’s no way anything makes a difference now. Not to Him.”
A stubborn tear found its way down her cheek, and it was all Marty could do to not brush it away. Or pull Emma into his arms.Oh, Father. I can’t comfort her the way she needs. Only You can do that. Please use me to show her Your love somehow. Give me the words.
“It’s true. God has the power to heal anyone on the spot. But just because He doesn’t, doesn’t mean He isn’t answering your prayer.” She shot him an angry look and he held up a hand in response. “Hear me out. You said you spent years as a child praying that God would fix your heart. Because your heart wasn’t immediately healed, you assume He’d turned a deaf ear to you. Maybe you’ve been thinking about it all wrong.”
Emma’s jaw moved as she clenched her fists at her sides. “So it’s my fault then?”
“No, it’s not. But while you were a little girl praying at bedtime that God would fix your heart, maybe a young man in medical school was praying for the strength to get through his finals so he’d go on to become the heart surgeon he dreamed of being. A heart surgeon that would later perform your transplant.” He reached out and took one of her clenched fists in his hand. “God gave you a mother who, no matter what happened, cared for you and stood by your side. A sister to be your playmate and best friend when you couldn’t go to school.” He softly rubbed her knuckles with his thumb.
“Emma, you grew up with medical care. A roof over your head. You grew up with the medication you needed. God took the tragedy another family experienced to bring you a new heart. He performed a miracle through your heart surgeon. God carefully put all the pieces of the puzzle together until it was time to fix your heart. Maybe it wasn’t the way you imagined, but He did it, just like you prayed He would. Honey, He answered your prayers.”
She squeezed her eyes shut as tears fell freely. Marty leaned against the couch for balance, dropped his crutch, and gathered her in his arms. He held her close as she sobbed. “I wish I knew why it had to take so long for your prayer to be answered. Maybe it was so that, when someone else is going through a similar situation, you can give them hope. Maybe you’ll never know.” He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and simply held her close as she cried.God, please let this be a starting point for her healing. Use this to draw her back to You.
Marty wasn’t sure how long she cried, but after a while the sobs quieted. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a handkerchief he kept with him for emergencies. When he handed it to her, she used it to wipe her eyes and nose. She released a long sigh as she let her head rest against his chest again.
