I stifled my laugh only because Penny looked truly horrified.
"Please stop talking," I said.
"Besides," Rob continued. "We had to go on that top secret mission last night so I didn't end up getting laid. It was nice to have something to jerk off to."
Penny’s mouth literally fell open as she gaped at him.
"Damn it, Rob, we've talked about this. Stop saying stuff like that around Penny. I don't want to have to kick you out."
Rob cracked an egg. "It's fine. Penny and I are cool."
"Actually, we're not cool," Penny said. "Because James told me all about your secret mission. And you told me that you wouldn't let him do anything stupid. Punching a professor in the faceissomething stupid. What is wrong with you?"
"I tried to stop him,” Rob said.
Wow, he did not. He’d barely asked any questions about why I even wanted to do it.Andhe’d added on to the plan. I never had any intention of setting McCarty on fire. That was all Rob.
"Not well enough,” Penny said.
"He's bigger than me." Rob shrugged and cracked another egg.
"You two must have been a disaster together growing up," Penny said.
"No, only me really. James is the perfect one. I'm a terrible influence on him." He pushed the eggs around the pan with a spatula.
"That's kind of what it seems like."
"Geez, you sound like my mom. What, you think I wanted to go kick some guy's ass last night? That was not how I saw last night going at all. That was all him." He pointed at me.
Penny just laughed and shook her head.
"So what are we doing today?" Rob asked. "Is there someone else we need to beat up?"
"Penny and I are going shopping,” I said. “We need to pick up a few things for the apartment." I sat down next to her at the counter.
"I don't mind third wheeling." Rob put some of the scrambled eggs on plates and handed them out.
"Thanks, Rob, these look great," Penny said and took a bite.
"Actually, if it's alright, I was hoping to do something with just Penny. We'll only be gone for a few hours."
"Fine,” said Rob. “I have some stuff I need to do too anyway."
"You do?” Penny asked. “What are you going to do? Nothing illegal I hope?"
"Very funny, Penny. No, I ordered an Xbox from this place down the street. I need to go get it and set it up."
"I can't even remember the last time I played videogames," I said. We used to play all the time with Mason and Matt.
"I know. It's going to be so much fun crushing you. I call dibs on James after your lunch date." He pointed his fork at Penny.
"I'm good at videogames," Penny said. "Maybe I can crush both of you."
I stared at her. I didn’t know she liked videogames too. She really was full of surprises.
Rob laughed. "I seriously doubt that."
"I played tons of N64 growing up. I can beat anyone at Mario Kart."
