Yeah. I figured that was the case. I glanced at Penny. She looked so young and naïve. And it was possible that I was about to make the biggest mistake of my life.
Chapter 4
Wednesday
Breathe.No, I wasn’t about to make a mistake. It didn’t matter that Penny was young. She was old enough to know that she fucking loved me back. I had a hard time trusting people. But I trusted her. I trusted what we had. And we’d get through this together. We had to. Because I wasn’t going to let myself slip again.
"Then I guess I resign," I said. I pulled an envelope out of my pocket and put it down on top of the desk. "Here's my letter of resignation." I slid it toward Joe. And for just a second, I couldn’t breathe.
"James?" Penny sounded panicked.
I’d wanted to talk to her about all this last night. I’d wanted to make this decision together. But I didn’t have a fucking choice here. Didn’t she see that? I was doing this for her. I was giving up everything for her.
I swallowed hard.No.That wasn’t true. This job didn’t matter. I had to believe that. Yes, I loved teaching. But I loved her more. She was all I needed.
"That makes you look guilty of everything people are saying,” Joe said. “You'll never get another teaching job."
I know.I expected to feel as panicked as Penny looked. But I was eerily calm. "I only see two possibilities. I do everything your way, except I keep seeing her in secret, or I quit. And since continuing to work here and keep seeing her seems to be out of the question, I quit."
"Is this really worth ruining your reputation over? The press is already jumping to conclusions. If you resign it'll basically be a confession that you slept with all your femalestudents. It'll look bad on the school too. I need you to say you made a mistake and stop seeing her. Stay out of the news during the investigation. Keep quiet for your six months of probation. That's it. I need this to disappear as soon as possible. Don't screw me on this."
"I don't know what to tell you, Joe. I love her. I'm not doing that."
"You've got to be shitting me."
"I'll have an interview with the press," Penny interjected.
"Penny," I said. "Please let me handle this." This wasn’t a discussion. I’d already made the decision. It was done.
"I'll tell them that it was completely consensual,” she said. “And that I love him. Everyone will calm down. Maybe they won't care if we date then. And you can still conduct the interviews with other students. Everything will come back clean. It will all blow over."
Joe eyed Penny again. He looked mad at her too. But I could see his mind working. And I didn’t like that one bit. Under no circumstances was Penny talking to any of those idiots in news vans.
I shook my head. "No. I don't want her talking to the press. I'm not dragging this out longer than necessary."
"James, let me help you keep your job,” she said.
"Enough," I said. I stared into her eyes.Please, Penny. I’m doing this for you.
She turned back to Joe. "Do you think it will help?"
"Several news stations have already called me. It'll be national news by the end of the day. I don't know if it'll matter at this point. It's just a matter of public opinion. They've already labeled him. And in my opinion the only way to change their opinion is for you to terminate your relationship."
What the fuck?Why were we still talking about this?
"Can't we at least try my idea?" she asked.
I knew she was trying to help, but this was ridiculous. "Penny and I need to talk in private for a second." I stood up.
"Nothing about your relationship is going to be private now." Joe stared at us. "Sit down, James. Let's just get this over with." He looked down at a paper on his desk.
I slowly sat back down. I knew that Penny and I should have talked about all this. But we had talked about some of this already. Some very important details and I thought we were on the same page. I leaned toward her. "Penny, we've already talked about this," I whispered.
"No we haven't. You never said you were going to resign..."
"I mean about waiting until you graduate. I'm not doing it. We've had this discussion. If I stay we won't be able to be together. I'm not waiting to be with you. I've already made my decision. And it was the easiest decision I've ever made. Please just let me handle this. I'm not changing my mind."
Joe cleared his throat. "Midterm grades are due at the end of this week. You'll still need to submit those. I've already gotten other professors to cover your classes during the investigation.”
