We were in Harriston until late, then we had almost an hour to drive home. They were tired when we left, and if we don’t get them in bed soon, they’re going to get a second wind.
“Are you coming?” Griffin asks.
“In a minute,” I promise.
He goes into the house, and I pull out the scrap of paper he’d written Liam’s mom’s contact info on.
I wait a few minutes, and Liam comes out of the house. I extend the paper to him, not really knowing what to say.
“What is this?” he asks and takes the paper.
“Your dad was going to go try to convince your mom to come here and answer any questions you might have. I talked him out of it, but I didn’t really have that right. He didn’t either, but you should get to have the choice,” I say, and start to turn away.
“Hey, wait a second,” he calls after me.
“Yes?” I turn to face him, but I don’t go back over.
“I am sorry. I know I’ve said that before and then hurt you again, but I really am sorry. I wish I had the answers for you, but the truth is I don’t know why I acted the way I did. The only reason I’m not the same worthless sack of shit now is that I really have changed,” he says.
“I know.” And I do know. It doesn’t change anything, but I guess it is an answer.
“Doesn’t change anything, does it?” he asks.
“What would you want it to change?” I ask warily.
He shrugs. “I guess nothing. I’m still where I want to be, and so are you. I’d just like to see my dad without so much friction.”
“No more friction. I think the space will be good for all of us. This is the way it is supposed to be. Call your dad, make plans. We’ll make it work.”
“Are you sure? I know my relapse brought back some bad memories for you. I understand it can’t go back to the way it was,” he says.
“Do we want it to? We were pretending everything was fine, but was it ever really?”
Liam shrugs. “I guess not, but how do we move on from here?”
That is the key question. For the first time in a long time, we’ve dropped all pretense. There may have been love between us, once. I am not completely sure about that, but I’m going to assume maybe there was. For way too long, there’s only been animosity.
“I forgive you. That doesn’t mean that what you did to me is okay, or that it won’t pop up to bother me from time to time. But, as long as it is within my ability to do so, I’m letting it go. I thought I wanted answers from you, but I really just wanted to know that Griffin wasn’t you. I know that now. We will all have holidays, barbecues, birthday parties, and the like as a family. Day to day, we will have space from each other. It’ll help me let the past go, and hopefully give you and Claudia a clean slate to move forward.”
“Do you think I should call her?” he asks me, looking at the paper I gave him.
“I can’t answer that for you. I would talk to Claudia about it before you do anything.”
He shakes his head. “I really didn’t deserve you. I think I’ve always known that. I’m sorry I didn’t let you go back then.”
“We can’t change the past. All you can do now is try to deserve Claudia,” I tell him.
“Believe me, I’m going to try like hell to do that.”
“Good luck on the fresh start,” I tell him.
When I turn and walk away, I feel lighter. For the second time today, I am leaving the past where it belongs, and Liam is best left there. He might be Griffin’s son, and he’ll never really be out of my life, but he’s not the center of Griffin’s concerns, and that will have to be enough.
Back inside the house, I go looking for Griffin. I find him standing outside Parker’s room.
I run my hands up his back. Partly to let him know I’m behind him, but also because pregnancy hormones make me want to pet him.
“They’re growing up so fast,” he says in a hushed voice.
