Wren waits a painfully long moment to allow me to jump in and take over the conversation like I probably usually do, but when I don’t, she pushes forward. “I’ve tried, and I just can’t do it anymore. I don’t know why now, I think his relapse brought back too many memories. I feel like a horrible bitch, but I am finding it hard to even be around Claudia right now.”
“Why?” One word still counts as listening, right? I’m trying to get more out of her and keep her talking, so I think it counts.
“I’m not still in love with him if that’s what you’re asking me,” she grumbles.
“It wasn’t, but I do want to help you get to the bottom of what you’re feeling. It’s obvious that it’s bothering you, and I don’t like it,” I tell her.
Wren laughs. “Youdon’t like it? Well, then we should do something about it ifyoudon’t like it.”
I take a deep breath and stop myself from responding right off the bat. “Okay, I might not have a college degree like you, but I am well educated in sarcasm. I just want you to talk to me.”
“I’ve been talking to you, Griff. That’s the thing. I’ve told you that I was having issues being around him. I’ve said it when we first got together, probably a few times over the years, and I know I’ve said it recently. Every time I tell you that I’ve got an issue with him, you try and force some kind of family bullshit that allows you to tell yourself that everything is perfect and we’re one big happy family.”
“What do you want me to do?” I ask her.
She shrugs, and I can feel waves of frustration rolling off of her. “I don’t know. It really doesn’t matter what I say anyway because you’re still going to do what you want. Isn’t that right,Daddy?”
That’s the first time in years she’s called me that out of anger instead of lust. I don’t like this either, but I know better than to say so right now.
“Be mad at me. It’s not the first time, probably won’t be the last. I tend to do and say things that piss you off regularly. You can be as mad as you want, but come to bed now. Let me remind you why you stay,” I demand.
This is where we always connect. No matter what dumbass thing I’ve said or done, there’s always a pull dragging us back together.
I guess there is a first time for everything, because she shakes her head and backs away.
“Not tonight, Griffin. I’m done letting myself get carried away by lust. Nothing ever changes when I do that, and I feel like I’m losing it. I’m going to sleep in the guest room tonight,” she says and retreats toward the stairs.
I wait until she’s safely away and storm outside. I don’t know what to do. If I were Charlie, I’d dig up a random plant and find some cigarettes, but I’ve only ever found the habit disgusting.
I stomp away from the house until I’m deep in the woods behind our properties. I’ve been cutting up a fallen tree back there, and swinging an ax seems like the perfect activity to release some frustration.
“Fuck,” I yell as I swing the ax to split a log.
“I guess that’s one way to release tension. Personally, I prefer cigarettes,” Charlie says, startling me.
I swing around, ax still in hand, then realize who is talking. I bury it in another core of wood. “Pretty stupid creeping up on someone with an ax,” I tell him.
Charlie ignores me. “Talk didn’t go well, I take it?”
I shoot him a look. “Does it look like I’m fucking my wife right now? Because that’s the kind of wood I’d rather be handling at this moment. Instead, I’m chopping at logs in the forest. Wren is sleeping in the guest room tonight. Isn’t that fucking fantastic?” I punctuate my last question by taking some aimless swings at the log I’ve butchered to sawdust.
He winces. “The two of you fought, and it didn’t end in you tangled up naked and sweaty?”
I point the ax at him. “Joke around about this right now, I dare you.”
He puts his hands up, and I realize how unhinged I’m acting and drop the ax.
Once I’m unarmed, he continues, “I’m being serious. That’s not normal…for the two of you. There’s no shame in seeking professional advice.”
“You think I need therapy?”
He tilts his head to the side. “Growing up in Harriston, I think we all need therapy, but in this case, couples counseling is probably the way to go.”
There may have been a time when I’d have let my pride, or some misguided sense of masculinity, prevent me from asking for help, but I’m far too old for dumb shit like that. Now, I am willing to do anything to save my marriage.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Wren - Present
