In this moment, it finally clicks—how wrong I was when I was seventeen.
19
BAYLEE
I should feel better.Maverick said all the right things, and I could see the sincerity in his eyes, but I can’t uproot my life to follow him across the country. As much as I’d love to join him in New York, that’s not something I can do.
My conversation with Maverick reminds me of a poem I read in high school, which I didn’t really understand at the time. InThe Road Not Takenby Robert Frost, he wrote, “way leads on to way.” I feel like Maverick and I have made so many decisions without each other that returning to the point where everything was simple between us now seems impossible.
Leo lets out a wail that jolts me from my misery, and I bounce him in my arms. “Are you hungry, my little duckie?” I brush my nose against the soft spot on his head and remind myself that I have my son. He’s what matters right now.
With a heavy heart, I push my chair back. “Is it okay if I feed Leo before I go?”
“You’re leaving?”
Slowly, I nod. “I’m going to stay at the ranch.”
The hurt in Maverick’s eyes is unmistakable, but I’ll only bemaking things worse if I stay. He blows out a breath. “Okay. I guess I’ll get out of your hair so you can have some privacy.”
He walks out of the room before I can respond, and my heart breaks. I don’t want to hurt Maverick, but I also don’t think I’m really what he wants. He needs to focus on his recovery and get back to New York. If I give in to the chemistry between us, I’ll basically be his rebound girl.
And I don’t mean his rebound from Kira. I mean his rebound from football.
I grab a blanket and head around to the bed, which Mav folded up into the couch. After I sit back, I nurse Leo and let myself think about what it would be like if I took Maverick up on his offer to go to New York with him.
Immediately, I cut myself off. Because it’s impossible. I don’t want to move. Even if I did, my whole life is in this town.
After Leo finishes his meal, I return him to his basket and pack our things. By the time I’m done, the pile seems bigger than the one I brought over. How is that possible?
A few minutes later, Maverick emerges looking almost lost. “Bay, do you need help carrying anything to your car?”
“No. Thanks, though.”
His shoulders slump, and he tucks his hands into his jean pockets. “I want you to know I appreciate your candor. Thanks for always having my back.”
The unfairness of life makes me want to ball up my fists and beat the walls. If he’d asked me to join him in New York before I had Leo, before I took over the salon, I’d have gone in a heartbeat.
But that door has closed.
When he sees my pile of belongings, he frowns. “Seriously, let me move your stuff.”
“Absolutely not. I won’t be responsible for you injuringyourself.” His frown grows, and I cross my arms because he won’t get me to change my mind.
After he tries to stare me down, he shakes his head. “You’re a damn stubborn woman.”
The irritation in his voice makes me chuckle. “Don’t lie. You like me this way.”
His eyes go soft. “I do.”
I get trapped in those hauntingly beautiful eyes, and everything in me wants to stay, but that will only make things harder down the line. “Can you watch Leo for ten minutes while I haul everything downstairs? I’ll bring you ice cream tomorrow at lunch.”
“Fine, but only if you stay to enjoy it with me.”
He knows I love that sweet treat. “You’re the best.”
“I know.”
Laughing, I tuck my phone into my back jean pocket, grab my three duffle bags, and lug them to the door. “I’ll be right back.”
