Shame and humiliation crawl over me like fire ants.
I’ve never been much of a drinker. Watching my father become an alcoholic made me steer clear of booze, but I admit I need a drink tonight.
Pulling on the reins, I turn Apollo and head back to the house. With each stride of my horse, my heart sinks. Paige and I have some shit to work through, but the memory of her smiling when she got that job offer makes something in my chest ache.
Without the ranch, what kind of life can I give her? What kind of future can we build? I won’t even have a fucking truck after next week, and it won’t be long before we lose the roof over our heads. If I have to put down my whole herd…
I just can’t fathom that.
Never in the history of this ranch have we experienced anything this catastrophic.
Tilting up my head, I search for stars as though they might offer me a glimmer of hope, but the clouds hang thick above me like a bad omen.
Maybe the writing is on the wall. My ship is going down.
But Paige can still live her dream. If she takes that job, she can go do what she set out to accomplish when she agreed to marry me. She’s recovered from her injury, she’s saved some money, and now she can take that life raft. She’ll eventually settle down and marry someone who can give her the family she wants, the family she deserves.
I suck in a breath. Goddamn, I don’t know when that woman burrowed in deep, but I’m afraid I’m never gonna get over her.
I’m sorry, Danny. I fucked everything up. But I’m gonna make this right. I’m gonna do right by your sister.
I had no business messing with Paige’s life.
I won’t ruin it.
I love her enough to let her go.
43
PAIGE
I wakewith a start and scramble to look at the clock. It’s after midnight.
Rhett’s bed is empty, but maybe he’s home.
My hand presses to my belly.I’m having Rhett’s baby.
My lips tilt up.I know that’s not the news he wants right now, but I want this child more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life. Don’t people always say that all you need is love? That love conquers all? I’m going to hold onto that right now and believe that we’ll get through this. We’ll figure out a way to keep the ranch and, sometime next year, we’ll welcome our sweet little peanut.
Isn’t that what marriage is about? In good times and in bad? It can’t get much worse than this. And when you hit rock bottom, life can only get better.
As much as I want to tell Rhett about my pregnancy, I decide to hold off a few more days. Until we can figure out what we’re doing with the ranch. He doesn’t need the added stress of a baby on top of everything.
Nodding to myself, I wrap a blanket around my shoulders and tiptoe into the hallway. There’s a light coming from his father’s office, which no one ever uses.
Peeking in, I see Rhett sitting at his father’s old oak desk with a bottle of Jim Beam and a shot glass. A small desk lamp is on, which throws just enough light to see the hollowness in my husband’s stare. The room smells musty, like dust and Old Spice. It smells like Rhett’s dad.
“Hey. Are you okay?” I move closer.
His eyes shift to me, but there’s no emotion behind them, and a chill rushes through me. “Have a seat.” He motions to the chair across from him.
I still.
Why do I feel like I’m about to be fired?
That has to be in my head.
I perch at the edge of the chair and lean toward the desk. “I know you had a terrible day. I just want you to know that we’ll fight this. We’ll figure out a way to?—”
