Coach covers the mic in front of him as he leans toward me and whispers, “You don’t need to speak about anything regarding your daughter or being a father.”
“It’s okay. I got this,” I tell him quietly. Coach has had a few single fathers on his team over the years, and he’s protective about our privacy. My situation is a little different because everyone knows what happened to Gemma, but the reporters who cover us at Lone Star State are usually respectful.
I clear my throat to give myself a moment to gather my thoughts. “If anything, being a father makes me a better player. I have to be on top of my life, both at home and on the field. I can’t be a slacker.” I don’t mention how not having the right babysitters at times has messed with my head.
But knowing that Hazel is with Abby right now makes a huge difference. That woman would jump in front of a train for my daughter. It helps me have the headspace so I can focus on what I need to do.
I smile to myself. I’m not sure when Abby became such a central part of my life, but I hope she’s here to stay. I must be getting a second wind because I’m itching to get home so I can take my girls to the festival tonight.
I’m enjoying my post-game high until I get to my locker and pull out my phone.
Missed call from Cynthia Kendrick.
Hanging my head, I close my eyes.
I usually stay in touch with Gemma’s parents, but getting some space this fall has been good for my mental health. Talking to Cynthia and Charles reopens too many old wounds.
They probably want to video-chat with Hazel or get together for Thanksgiving. I’ll text them later.
I hope they’ll understand why I can’t see them until the season is over. Thinking about Gemma and the accident screws me up, and I can’t afford any more fuckups this fall. I’ve deliberately not thought about her this semester.
Gemma, I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I’ll always hold you in a special place in my heart, but if I want to live and do right by our daughter, I need to let you go.
A text comes in from my father.
Congrats, mijo. Estoy orgulloso! He’s proud.
Thanks, Dad! Glad you could watch.
I wanna ask him how he’s feeling and if he’s staying on top of his bills, but I don’t wanna bum him out, so I drop it for now. I hope I’ll be able to help him retire so he doesn’t work himself to the bone.
I’m still trying to shake off the lingering sadness of that missed call from Cynthia when I think about tonight and how I get to hang out with Hazel and Abby.
My smile returns.
29
NICK
Abby and I swing Hazel between us as we wander between the booths. The annual Nut Festival showcases local arts, crafts, and baked goods, usually featuring pecans.
“Daddy, I wanna stuffed animal.” Hazel yanks her arm free to point at a booth full of unicorns. Awesome. That’s exactly what I need. A giant pink unicorn to stuff into our bedroom.
I’m about to redirect her attention when she folds her hands under her chin. “Please.”
Oh, hell.
Abby sees my expression and snickers.
I rub my face. I’m not sure when I got wrapped so tightly around my daughter’s finger, but it is what it is. “All right. Come on.” I pick up Hazel and the three of us head to the Magical Unicorn Forest where I’ll have to spend my scholarship money to try to win a stuffed animal.
Some of the guys on the team see us and head over. They’re hanging out with Paige and Baylee. The girls hug, and Dax pats me on the back. “I see a giant unicorn in your future.”
“Uncle Jinxy!” my daughter screeches.
Jinxy holds out his arms to Hazel, and she leaps at him. It makes my heart stop, the way she has such little regard for her own safety. When Jinxy puts her on his shoulders, I grouse, “Don’t drop her.”
He looks affronted. “C’mon, Daddy. I got good hands. You know this.”
