“I will try.” She leans over and laces her fingers together. “Put your foot here.”
I do as she asks, and then she hoists me up. As quickly as possible, I lift the window. Fortunately, it opens outward, and I shimmy over the ledge.
Oh, God. Hanging halfway over a super narrow window ledge hurts like a mofo, but that’s not the worst part. It’s really breezy, and I’m pretty sure I’m flashing the girls behind me.
Whatever. We’re all women. They can deal.
“Hazel!” I call out. “Can you hear me?”
From this angle, I can’t see the kitchen, but something is definitely burning on the stove. Hopefully, I can get to it before it gets worse. The fire alarm starts blaring, and I’m hoping she hears it and runs out, but when she doesn’t, I realize I’m wasting precious time.
I wiggle and try to get my hips over the edge, but I can’t seem to scoot over. After another attempt, I manage to get them over.
That’s when I realize my dress isn’t making its way over with me.
“Ah!” I’m about to flash my boobs along with my ass. I try to cover my chest, but that’s just slowing me down.
Cue the fire truck blaring down the street. Son of a biscuit. This is worse than hitting Nick with my car.
Don’t think about yourself, Abigail. That child needs you.
I do my best to fling myself over, but I get stuck with my boobs out and smashed against the window. And the more I try to kick myself over, the more my skirt rides up over my ass. Paige is trying not to laugh, and Meany Pants is frowning at me.
“Y’all, I’m stuck!” My glasses fall off my face and crash behind the couch.
I’m upside down when I see several firemen stalk up to the house as I make one more attempt. I’m not totally sure since everything is blurry without my glasses, but maybe it’s better I can’t see well.
There’s yelling outside, which I assume is Meany Pants explaining what’s going on to the fire department.
I push off one more time, and suddenly, I’m airborne. I go flying with a scream and land in a heap on the loveseat, but I come down at a funny angle on my neck.
Groaning, I crack open my eyes to find three super-hot firemen staring at me from the other side of the window. I mean, I assume they’re hot, but without my glasses, I’m not really sure.
This is mortifying because my beautiful floral tube-top dress is bunched up at my waist. Awesome.
This is probably why I should’ve worn a bra.
My one consolation is at least I’m not wearing granny panties.
“Ma’am, are you okay?” one yells as he bangs on the window.
I roll off the couch with a pained moan, land on the floor with a thump, and wiggle around until my nips are tucked away. I wobble to a stand and stumble toward the door while I try to cover my ass.
After I unlock the door, the men come rushing in. One scoops me up and carries me out.
“Put me down. I’m okay. But can someone get my glasses? They fell behind the couch.”
After I slide down the mammoth’s body, Paige reaches over to hug me.
“This is bullshit,” Nick yells next to me as another firefighter holds him back. “Let me in to find my daughter.”
“Sir, no one can go in until the premises are deemed safe. We’ll get your daughter.”
I’m not sure when Nick arrived, but I’m glad he’s here for Hazel. Hopefully, he didn’t see my boobs streak across his window.
A long, anxious minute later, someone carries out Hazel, who’s crying. Her dad rushes to her and pulls her into his arms. In between sobs, she wails, “Da—Da—Daddy, the loud noise scawed me!”
Hot tears fill my eyes. It’s a touching moment.
