It’s nine at night. That’s a sad state of affairs. “You have a good day?”
“Douchebag Douggie wants me to take him onto the field for our next home game. Introduce him around. I’m trying to have a good attitude, but it’s tough when I feel like I know more about football than he does.”
“Who’s Douggie again?” When she doesn’t say anything, I lift my head, and she’s giving me that look. The one that says I fucked up. “Sorry. I know you told me.”
“It’s okay. You’re busy. I get it.” She’s wearing a t-shirt with stains and sweatpants. Her hair is tied up in a messy bun that’s falling. And Marley is snuggled on her shoulder. They’re both so fucking adorable.
“Bring me that baby.” I roll over and hold open my arms. Roxy places her on my chest, and I kiss her forehead. “Look at you, Starley Marley. Smelling fresh.”
“I just gave her a bath. It’s past her bedtime, but I thought if I kept her up a little later, maybe she wouldn’t wake up at two in the morning and I could stretch out the time between feeds.”
“It’s worth a try.” I pat Marley’s butt. “Should I be keeping her up or putting her to bed?”
“Bed. Actually, would you mind watching her while I take a shower? I have puke and pee on me, and a mustard-brown spot I’m scared is poop.”
“Sexy.”
She laughs. It’s good to see her smile. “I swear I’ll just be five minutes.”
“Take your time.”
“Are you hungry? There’s lasagna in the fridge.”
My mouth waters. “I’m always hungry.”
“I can reheat it for you as soon as I get out of the shower. Actually, I could go for a snack too.”
“Sounds good, biscuit.” We might live together, but we rarely get to hang out anymore. I want to make the most of tonight. Maybe we can watch a movie or something, even if it’s just for an hour.
Roxy gives me a sweet smile, and my heart kicks in my chest. I love this woman. She has no idea how much. It sucks that we have so much going on because there’s nothing else I’d rather do than hang out with her and enjoy her company.
I hold Marley, and she conks out two minutes later, so I place her in the bassinet by Roxy’s side of the bed. Yes, there’s a nursery, but it doesn’t make any sense to put Marley in there when she wakes up at all hours. That just means it takes us longer to get to her.
Though I have to say, now that we have a baby rooming with us, I can’t bring myself to sleep naked anymore. Roxy is always breastfeeding, and it would be weird for me to slide into bed with my junk hanging out while she’s cradling Marley. So now I sleep in track pants that twist and bind my nut sack, but it’s better than traumatizing the kid or, hell, myself. No one wants to come eye to eye with a baby when you’re not dressed.
I’ll admit that going so long without sex is making me stir crazy. Not that Rox can have sex yet, which I totally get. She’s still healing, and I’d never do anything to jeopardize that. Plus, if I’m being honest with myself, I’m still a little fucked up over her water breaking while I was balls deep inside of her.
I would never tell her this, but I’ve had nightmares about that moment. To remember how she cried out in pain while I was still pulsing in her body freaks me the fuck out. I’m not sure what I have to do to get over it. If I could scrub my brain with bleach to forget, I would.
Don’t get me wrong—I still want her. I just… have this weird mental block. All I can hope is that by the time we can get physical again, I’m over my issues.
After I tuck in Marley, I grab the baby monitor and collapse on the couch again. Flip on the TV.
Yawning, I stretch out. My eyes feel so heavy. I’ll just close them for a minute. Until Roxy gets out of the shower.
I wake with a start hours later. There’s a cold plate of lasagna in front of me and an empty one that must belong to Rox.
Damn, I fell asleep on her.
And I have an away game Saturday that requires an overnight, which means I won’t be home tomorrow night. Fuck.
44
ROXY
Am I bummedBilly fell asleep on me? Yes.
Am I still upset about it two days later? No.
