And now that dream is over, one year before I thought it would be.
I’ve been putting off clearing out my locker, but someone needs it, and I’m hogging up the space. I head to our locker room and jam everything into a tote bag before I return to the gym.
The squad is practicing a routine, and my heart aches at not being a part of it. I know every move like the back of my hand since I helped with some of the choreography.
Paige, the cheerleader replacing me at the top of the pyramid, hikes her leg up to her ear, but over-arches. The girls below her brace themselves. It’s not enough to offset Paige’s movementabove them. I watch it happen in slow motion. The second tier gets wobbly, and Paige tumbles off. Fortunately, our male cheerleaders are awesome and catch her, but another girl, Carla, hits the mat hard.
I rush over to check on her. “Are you okay?”
Carla rubs her hip as we help her up. “We’d be better if you hadn’t bailed.”
My eyes widen. Every part of me wants to confess why I had to quit, but I have to talk to my parents first.
Paige shoots her a dirty look and limps off in a huff.
“Roxy.” I turn to see Debbie, our coach, standing in the doorway of her office. “Can I have a word?”
As soon as I head toward her, everyone on the squad starts whispering behind me, and my ears burn. I stand straighter and take my time. I refuse to be ashamed. It’s not like I got kicked off the team.
“Hey, Coach. What’s up?” I ask when I duck into her office.
She gives me a sympathetic smile and motions toward the door. “Can you close that behind you?”
Okay, now she’s scaring me.
I sit in front of her desk feeling like I got called to the principal’s office. “I just stopped by to grab my stuff. That locker is empty now for whoever needs it.”
She nods. “Thanks. Appreciate that. Listen, I was wondering if you’ve spoken to your father yet.”
My face flames, and I shake my head. “No. I, uh, I was hoping to talk to my ex first…” Okay, Ezra isn’t exactly my ex, except I feel weird giving my coach the details. “But that conversation didn’t happen.”
She folds her hands in front of her. “The reason I ask is because I got a call from the financial aid office. You’re here on a scholarship for cheer, but now that you’re not doing it…”
I close my eyes when I connect the dots. “My tuition isn’t covered.”
“Right.”
“Damn.” Flustered, I bite my lip so hard, it’s probably going to bleed. “But I thought Lone Star covers tuition for students whose parents are faculty.”
“It does, but that has to be determined in the summer, and you’re dropping your sport mid-year.”
I have a small savings account compliments of my grandmother, who sold her restaurant before she retired and split the proceeds between me and my brother. It’s been keeping me afloat so I don’t have to rely on my parents. After I got in trouble last spring for partying too hard, one of my father’s stipulations was that I had to buckle down with my classes and pay my own way using that money. Because he felt like I was wasting my time here by not taking school seriously.
Debbie leans forward. “Look on the bright side. I’m sure the school will cover costs next year if you let the bursar’s office know what’s going on with you. But you might have to pay for this semester’s tuition.”
My dad’s going to strangle me. He’s big on covering your nut as you go and not over-extending yourself financially. He’ll just view this as another screw-up on my part.
“Rox, didn’t he notice that you didn’t do any tumbling or stunts at the national championship game? Hasn’t he noticed that you’re not practicing with us anymore? Or gearing up for competitions this spring?”
“I don’t live with him, and frankly, his head is all wrapped up with football.”
“What about your mom? Can you talk to her about what you’re going through?”
My eyes sting, and I blink and try to keep the tears at bay. “If I tell her, she’ll tell my father, and then they’ll both be disappointed in me.”
“Aww, honey.” Debbie gets up and comes around to hug me. “This is just a bump in the road. They might not be happy with your decisions, but I’m pretty sure they won’t love you any less. You’re not the first young woman to get pregnant in college.”
“I always feel like a disappointment to them, and this will only prove to them that I’m irresponsible.”
