“That’s nice.” He piles lunch meat and bread on the counter and slaps together sandwiches.
“I thought maybe we could hang out. I got the go-ahead from my doctor for, you know.”
“Cool.”
Cool?
Did he not understand? “My doctor said I could have sex.”
He doesn’t say anything. Just keeps piling meat on four pieces of bread.
“Billy.”
He finally looks at me. His expression is tight and there are dark circles under his eyes.
“What’s up with you? Why do you look like you’ve been up all night drinking?”
He’s wearing his suit pants, but his dress shirt is untucked and wrinkled.What the hell is that?I grab his collar. “Why is there lipstick on your shirt?”
His eyes widen, and a look of horror crosses his face. “I don’t know. It’s probably my mom’s.”
We stare at each other, and a strong wave of déjà vu hits me. I remember confronting Ezra and how he looked at me like I wascrazy when I asked if he was sleeping with other girls after he swore he was committed to me.
Words I haven’t even formed in my head yet spill from my lips. “Are you sleeping with someone else?”
He scoffs. “Calm down, biscuit. I’d never do that. Don’t get your panties in a twist because I hugged my mother.”
The confidence in his voice soothes my ruffled feathers, but I can’t let go of the feeling that something happened this weekend. “Billy, I need you to swear on Marley that you’re not playing the field. That you’re not banging other girls. Because I’ve already been down that road,and—”
“Roxanne.” He grabs my shoulders and stares into my eyes. “I swear on Marley that I’m not cheating.” He kisses me on the cheek, and I sink into him, but all too quickly, he lets go and returns to those damn sandwiches.
I almost ask to see his phone, but I don’t want to be that girl. The paranoid one who invades his privacy.
But why is he being so standoffish and weird? “How… how’s your mom? Did she have a fun birthday?”
“She was happy to have us all together. We went to this dumb country club and played putt-putt golf afterward. It was great to see her smile. Although my grandmother’s damn dog crapped all over her house, and I spent most of Saturday afternoon cleaning it.”
Listening to him talk about what he did makes me feel better.
But I know something’s wrong.
I just wonder why he won’t tell me what it is.
50
ROXY
For such a tiny peanut,Marley sure does weigh a ton right now. I hoist her higher on my shoulder while I push the stroller, which is loaded with her diaper bag and my backpack, with my other hand.
My mom dropped her off with me this afternoon. Marley joined me in the library so I could do some research.
“You’ve been such a good girl today,” I whisper against her downy soft head. “I hate leaving you to go to class, but someday you’ll understand. I’m working hard to make sure I have a career someday because a girl has to rely on herself. I think I want to be a sports broadcaster. I like journalism even though my professor this semester gets on my nerves. But I guess things don’t always go the way you expect them to. I’m learning that right now.”
Let’s take Billy, for example. I thought after a weekend with his family, he’d be rested and relaxed, but he’s been so cagey this week during the few times I’ve seen him.
It scares me.
What if he did something I can’t forgive?
