“Ben, you can’t slam the door. Poppy’s trying to sleep.”
“Shit. Sorry.” As he heads to the stairs, it’s obvious he has no intention of talking to me.
“Ben. Wait.”
He lets out a sigh and turns around.
“Are you going to avoid me forever? Can we please grab lunch this week?” I’m so tired of this crap. We’re adults. I wish he’d start acting like one.
His jaw tightens, but he nods. “Coffee?”
“Yeah, that would be great.” I open my mouth to ask what day works for him, but he disappears up the stairs.
I can’t even blame his reticence on him finding me in Rider’s bed last weekend. He was like thisbeforethat incident.
A few minutes later, Rider comes down with a tired baby on his shoulder. “I thought I’d hold her until she knocks out. Can we turn down the lights?”
“Of course.”
“It’s usually not this loud around here,” he says. I scoff, and he chuckles. “Really. The guys are usually great. I think it’s the bye weekend that has everyone excited.”
Judging by the frequency of those bangs upstairs, football’s not the only reason.
When he sits next to me, I rub Poppy’s back. “Do you want to come over? She can sleep in my room while we study.” His eyes meet mine, and they’re so intense I almost lose my breath. “You, uh, you guys can stay over if you want.”
He clears his throat. “I can sleep on the couch.”
“Or…”
“Or?”
“You could stay, you know, in my room.” In my bed. With me.
Those beautiful lips lift, and I wonder if he’s thinking what I am.
44
RIDER
The bright lightof the TV shines on the other side of Gabby, giving her a silvery, angelic glow. We’re sitting on her couch, but I’m slouched deep into the cushions, watching her. She tilts her head, glances back at me shyly, tucks a long strand of hair behind her ear, and resumes her reading.
“Get to work.” I can hear the smile on her lips.
“Fine, but finish your dinner.” Now that I know she needs to take care of her health better, the least I can do is feed her.
She rolls her eyes, but a smile is playing on her lips as she finishes the hoagie she forgot about.
I should finish my presentation, but I can’t concentrate on anything but her. If someone had told me a few months ago Gabby and I would be dating and that she wouldn’t hate me anymore, I wouldn’t have believed it.
A sense of relief fills my chest. Not making amends with Gabby, not having this, would’ve been an epic mistake on my part. I almost missed out on one of the best things in my life. Yes, football has to be my goal. Yes, my daughter has to be my main priority. But as for what I do for myself? I’m realizing it’s this woman. Next to Poppy, she’s the highlight of my day.
What about the draft?a little voice in my head warns.What happens when you’re a thousand miles away at an NFL training camp or on a pro team and she’s here in South Texas teaching at her dream school? What then?
I shake my head.One step at a time,I remind myself.
That’s a problem, though. I feel like I’m jamming all of the difficult parts of my life into a closet, waiting for the right time to deal with them, but what happens if it bursts open? What happens if it gets too full because I can only focus on basic things right now while we finish up the season?
“You’re looking awfully serious over there.” Her voice is gentle. Concerned.
